Alex Rider's Life Now
by Rider Rules
Summary: Changes the end of Scorpia Rising. Alex Rider's life- school, Yassen back from the dead, and Alex bossing his class around with K-Unit! And will Snake be teaching Alex's English class?  Rated T for occasional swearing & to be safe!
1. Yassen?

**NOTE: In this story, the events of Scorpia Rising happened slightly differently: There was a CIA agent undercover in Razim's complex, who tipped Jack off and told her to roll away from the car. Unfortunately, a piece of debris broke Jack's ankle. He looked after her and hid her until the CIA came, and Alex went with her on a helicopter to hospital. Jack got a cast and they returned to England safely. Alex is now going back to school.**

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Alex Rider- That would be Anthony Horowitz.**_

* * *

><p>Alex was awake long before his alarm clock went off. It was 6:20 am, and Alex wouldn't normally get up until 7:00. 40 minutes to go. Alex eyed his uniform, neatly folded on the chair in his room. Adrenalin raced through him- despite his many encounters with dangerous criminals, school seemed a lot, lot bleaker; the suspicion, the names, people calling him a druggie. Alex tossed and turned, but couldn't get back to sleep. He shut his eyes for what seemed like hours, but when he opened them again, the red numbers 6:28 glared back at him. He just couldn't sleep; from a mixture of his nervous approach at returning to school, but also the dream-well, nightmare- he'd just woken up from:<p>

He had been back at Razim's. He had been watching Jack 'die' on the TV screen. Over and over again, in slow motion, in black and white, in HD, even infrared! Sweaty and panting, he'd woken up, about to scream, but remembered it was okay... Jack was alive! But her ankle... She had broken it severely when the car's debris had rained around her as she had rolled out of it after turning on the ignition. The doctors said she might never be able to walk as well as she might have once- the break was that severe. On top of that, she had been burned all down his back... And Alex definitely knew how much that hurt. He sighed. He was just lucky that there had been an inside man...

6:40. Alex had had been lost in thought for 12 minutes. He thought of the time drawing ever closer to 7:00, when he would have to get up and face the world; see Jack's ankle still in its cast as she hobbled round in crutches, to face his peers again.

To hell with it! Alex needed something to do. He leapt out of bed and into the shower. The hot water pounding down his back always made him feel calmer- eased his muscles up, let his mind take a rest... Alex stepped out of the shower, water dripping off his hair and down his back. He quickly dried himself off. Somewhere in the back of his head nagged the thought that he didn't know where the hairdryer was, but he shrugged it off and got dressed.

7:00. The alarm clock made Alex jump as it screamed out a loud 'bringgg!' Alex sighed. He had butterflies in his stomach. He put a happy face on and headed downstairs.

As always, Jack was down there before him. Alex guessed she probably woke up at about 6:15, and he couldn't understand how that was possible- to wake up so _early. _He knew this thought was only a miserable attempt of distracting himself...

Because, as always, no matter how hard he tried, his cheerful expression faded when he saw Jack's right ankle.

"Jack... I'm so, so sorry..." He breathed, just like every morning. And, as always, Jack reassured him, then changed the subject.

"Alex, It's not your fault, and you know it," she said firmly, pushing a bowl of Cornflakes in his direction as he sat down. "So"... She continued, School today!" Now that_ totally_ put Alex off his cereal.

"Yeah, I guess," he replied, almost stammering, as he tried to force his breakfast down his throat.

"Alex," Jack suddenly announced. Her voice had a serious edge. "I know you're worried about school and that you don't want to go."

"No-"Began Alex, but Jack cut him off.

"I'm not stupid, Alex! I've heard what they do to you at school, calling you a druggie and all that..." She eyed Alex's 99% full bowl of Cornflakes. "You don't have to eat your breakfast if you don't want to, but take some chocolate in case you get hungry," she offered, waving a Cadbury's Fruit & Nut in front of Alex's face. Alex accepted it, although he doubted he'd have the slightest speck of appetite, even for chocolate.

He got up and headed for the door, wheeling his bike out with him. As Alex was about to open the door, he shrugged and called,

"Bye, Jack."

"You too! Love you!" Her voice echoed from the kitchen.

"Love you too," Whispered Alex, and opened the door.

* * *

><p>When Alex got to school, his heart was thumping harder than it ever had before. Wheeling his bike through the gates, he tried to look casual, when inside adrenalin was racing through him. The whispers and glances had started even before he'd walked in. It was only when he had just finished chaining up his bike when he heard a shout,<p>

"Alex!" It was Tom Harris, Alex's best friend. The one Alex had told all about MI6. Alex managed a half-smile as his friend came bounding over. "Hey Alex!" He said, excited, and then lowered his voice, "What happened?" Alex thought about Jack and how he thought she'd died, and her ankle... And then came the most horrible thought of all, the one Alex had been fighting all morning: Killing Julius Grief. A hand was shaking Alex's shoulder and he came back to Earth. He realised he'd been staring into space. "Well?" Alex shook his head.

"I-I don't think I'm ready to tell you," he said softly, biting his lip. "I'm just not ready to tell _anyone _right now." Tom looked puzzled, then sympathetic.

"Dude, something real bad must've happened out there... Where'd you go, again?"

"Egypt." Tom just nodded, then they walked together in silence for a few minutes, until Tom started filling Alex in on what he'd missed. All the time, Alex just nodded politely. Tom started to get worried. What could've shaken his friend up so badly?"

* * *

><p>As Alex and Tom walked towards their class, they were intercepted.<p>

"Hey, druggie!" Mocked a muscular boy, while two of his friends snickered from behind.

"Yeah?" Said Alex coolly, shrugging.

"What've you been doing while you were off?" He jeered, "Selling Cocaine?" A small crowd had gathered now, and Alex gestured, with a tilt of his head, for Tom to get out of the situation. Reluctantly, Tom backed away. "Well?" Said the bigger boy.

"I was ill."

"You were ill, My-Damn-Arse," he spat, poking Alex in the chest with every word. Alex stayed cool, and perfectly still, much to the annoyance of the other boy, who had been planning to make him fall over.

"I was."

"Yeah, right," he said, aiming a punch at Alex's arm, which was dodged by a quick backwards step. This made the boy furious. "Come here, Rider!" Alex caught the fist heading towards his face easily, then let it drop. By now a crowd was urging on a fight, and there was nothing Alex-or Tom- could do.

The boy continued to throw punches and kicks, and Alex continued to skilfully dodge them, as the boy got more and more worked up. Alex had a faint smile creeping onto his face; it was all he could do to stop him bursting out in laughter at his idiotic opponent. Even when the boy tried to rugby tackle Alex to the floor, Alex quickly ducked out from under the boy, who went flying onto the ground.

"Just _what _is going on?" Shouted a male voice, and then the Headteacher, Mr Bray, appeared. Alex, who had just been standing in the ring of pupils, calmly turned around. The other boy dropped his fists and went red. Alex almost smirked, but stopped himself.

"It was Rider, sir!" Shouted a voice from the crowd, and, inevitably, others joined in. Alex kept his calm, collected expression and waited for the shouts to subside.

"Come on, you know it wasn't me. And I would also like to say that I am not on drugs, a drug grocer, or involved in drugs of any sort," inside, Alex wanted to scream with anger, at how horrible the other kids could be, but kept himself together. "I just have a weak immune system."

"Yeah, sure you do," jeered the other boy before he could stop himself, and immediately flushed, seeing Bray giving him a stern look.

"You're coming to my office, Ryan Karpfish." Alex had to stop him self from giggling like a girl at the surname. Karpfish! Well, he smelled as bad as his surname. "Off to class, the rest of you," said Bray, getting the students moving with a wave of his hand. "Oh, and, welcome back Rider." Alex nodded.

"Thanks." Then he rejoined Tom in the sea of students.

* * *

><p>First day back at school, and Alex already had a problem. A <em>major <em>problem. Alex and Tom had just been messing around in the form room when the teacher had made her announcement:

"Right, everyone, we are starting a new unit in P.E!" She shouted, and waited for the chatter to subside. " Starting from next month exactly, on the 5th of January, you are going to have swimming lessons. I want you all to get your parents to sign this form," she waved some papers in the air, "...And bring them back in at least 2 weeks." Alex felt a knot tighten in his stomach... His bullet wound- He couldn't let the other kids see it, and even if there was a way to conceal it, there would still be the burns on his back from Kenya. Worse still, he really couldn't refuse; he'd just had a swimming unit just before he'd gone on his Eagle Strike mission, and proved himself to be remarkable at the sport.

Tom was grinning.

"Alex, this is gonna be so much fun," he gabbled cheerfully, "I can't wait!" Alex realised that Tom hadn't ever seen his scar, or even known he'd gotten shot.

"Um, actually Tom... I can't go swimming," Alex almost whispered.

"Why not?"

"Er... Well, um... I might tell you later..." Alex stumbled over his words, feeling clumsy and awkward. Why had he never told Tom about this?

"Okay... Sure. Whatever you say, Alex." Tom was visibly put out and confused, but Alex reassured himself that everything would be solved.

* * *

><p>Whoah... His first few lessons had been tough! Alex had had Science first, and they had been talking about the Nuclear Bomb. The other boys had been hyped up, happy to be talking about 'cool stuff like weapons', but Alex and Tom had exchanged glances, knowing just how close the very same kids had almost come to experiencing the devastating effects of a Nuclear Bomb, courtesy of General Alexei Sarov. <em>They don't<em> _know how lucky they are_, thought Alex despairingly.

Afterwards was Geography. And what were they studying? Egypt. It was all Alex could do not to throw himself out of the room at the mention of the country, let alone try to look comfortable. Then, not only were they studying Egypt, but one of the kids had to bring up Cairo College! Alex felt a shudder go down his back. He listened to what the kid- a girl- was saying.

"So, yeah, one of the old guys from Brookland used to go there," and she glanced at Alex, "And he said that he saw Alex Rider there." The whole class turned to stare at Alex, who quickly and desperately tried to look puzzled.

"What?" He asked incredulously. The girl opened her mouth to say more, but was quickly cut off by the teacher. Alex faced the front with relief. The Sphinx didn't seem so scary now.

Then, he had had Maths. Tom wasn't in his set; he found Maths particularly difficult, especially without his parents having a spare minute to help him. Jerry, according to Tom, was 'too cool to teach a little squirt Maths when there are hot dates available', so Alex was on his own. And who decided to sit right behind him and throw bits of paper at his head? Ryan Karpfish. To make matters worse, it was a double lesson. So Alex had to try to concentrate on catching up on Pythagoras' Theorem, and also try to stop himself snapping at the idiot behind him. He was glad when the lunch bell finally came.

* * *

><p>Tom was waiting for him in the corridor.<p>

"Hey, Alex!" Shouted Tom, then grabbing Alex and lowering his voice said, "C'mon, let's go to the Cafeteria before there's a massive queue." Alex stopped his friend.

"Hold on Tom, there's something I need to tell you first," he paused, "And it's likely to put you off your lunch."

"Sure, sure..."

"Look, come with me to the Boy's changing rooms."

Alex and Tom trudged across the school grounds in silence and entered the changing rooms. Alex quickly peered around and checked that there was no-one there, then rushed in and locked the door.

"Wha-?"

"Look, Tom, let's get this over with. I can't go swimming because..."

"Because?" Alex sighed. So he just blurted it out as quickly as he could,

"I got shot."

"What? Dude, why didn't you tell me?" Tom was stunned; Alex had kept a secret from him. From _him. _He felt betrayed.

"Look, I haven't even told _Sabina._"

"Well, obviously, she might go off you then," Tom snorted, trying not to laugh. Alex really smiled for the first time all day.

"Yeah, whatever... Anyway..." Alex quickly lifted up his shirt to show Tom his scar. Tom gasped.

"Jesus, man, I can see why you didn't want to tell me. That must've hurt a freaking lot." Alex nodded.

"Yeah. Let's just get outta here." As they walked out, Tom asked the question Alex had been wondering about all day long,

"What're you gonna say? You know... About not going swimming?" Alex sighed for maybe the hundredth time that day.

"I just don't know."

* * *

><p>The next lesson Alex had was a lot, lot easier. But extremely hard in its own way. They were doing a 5K cross-country run, (well, not really cross country, they just ran 5 times around the local 1K track) and Alex knew he was gonna totally slam the course right in the face. Ryan was boasting that he was 'totally going to win this thing', and Tom gave Alex a sly look. Alex almost laughed. Then they were off, running along. Alex noticed he was dramatically gaining distance.<p>

The run couldn't have been easier. He practically _sprinted _the whole distance, and finished an age before the rest of his class, and walked around panting so that his muscles wouldn't tighten up. Then Alex noticed the teacher staring at him.

"Rider...?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Where on Earth did you learn to run like that! Your classmates are still only on their 3rd laps at best!" Alex shrugged.

"Luck, I guess." The teacher continued to stare, then eventually turned back to watch the other runners.

Finally, sweaty and panting, the rest arrived. They were amazed, and all refused to believe that Alex had finished so early.

"He can't have done that, Sir!"

"He cheated, Sir!"

"Make him go again, Sir!"

Alex got extremely cross listening to all these accusations, and finally snapped.

"Fine!" He shouted, "I'll do it again!"

"Oh yeah?" Jeered Ryan, "You won't even cover one lap!"

"Yes I will!" And with that, Alex started running. As before, it was a breeze. The simplest thing he'd ever done.

"Told you so," he retorted to his classmates, and he didn't care how childish he sounded. They were all just standing there, stunned, shocked, in awe. Alex quietly made his way back to Tom, who was clearly desperately trying not to laugh at Karpfish's face. Alex couldn't resist giving Ryan a sickly smile and a girly wave. This caused Tom to snort with laughter.

"Tom Harris! Shut up!" Growled the Sports teacher.

"It's okay, Sir. It's my fault. I made him laugh," Alex apologised, standing up for his friend.

"Alright," barked the teacher, struggling to be heard over Tom's occasional bursts of laughter, "Back to the coach!"

As soon as the other kids started talking loudly enough, Tom stopped biting his tongue and burst into hysterics. After staring at his friend for a while, Alex decided to join in. _What do we look like?_ He wondered, _a pair of 2 kids who've gone totally and utterly crazy? _By the time they got to the coach, Alex Rider was certainly in a better mood. But that wouldn't last long.

* * *

><p>The next day, after lunch, Alex had P.E. That was when and how it happened. A man walked up to his teacher in the middle of the lesson. He was dressed in dark suit and glasses and had jet black hair. He moved like oil and looked strangely like... Yassen Gregorovich? But Yassen was dead! And he had had fair hair!<p>

"Alex Rider! This man wants to talk to you!" Cautiously, Alex approached in jog, and kept himself loose, in a fighting stance. Then the man pulled out a gun.

Some of Alex's classmates saw this and screamed, sprinting in any direction they could to get away, but the man acted as though they weren't there.

"Alex Rider. Your time has come," he snapped, pointing the gun at Alex's neck from about a metre away. Alex reacted instantly. Before the man had a chance to even work out what was happening, Alex had kicked the gun out of his hand. The whole class was staring in silence. Taking advantage of the man's sudden shock, Alex brought him to the ground with a palm strike and ankle kick, then gripped the man's neck and kneed him in the stomach.

"Who are you? Who do you work for?"

"Little Alex, trust me." The Russian accent was clear now. Alex gasped.

"Yassen Gregorovich?" He blurted, loosening his grip for a fraction of a second. "But you're dead!" Yassen shook his head and his black wig fell off to reveal his fair hair. He tossed his glasses away with a shake of his head.

" No, I am very much alive, Alex. There was some shrapnel buried in my chest when I was shot. It seems the bullet ricocheted off the piece of metal, missing my heart and lungs."

"Wow..." Then Alex came back to Earth. "What are you doing in my school?" Shouted Alex, enraged, "Why did you try to kill me? You're so, so-"

"Alex! I was trying to protect you! The gun is filled with sedative. I was pretending to work for Scorpia, and I was going to drug you and take you somewhere safe. They will kill us both now!" Alex was surprised to see Yassen lose it. He let Yassen up.

"Scorpia are after me? Why don't they just give the hell up? And what about..." Alex trailed off.

" I tipped MI6 off. They are looking after Jack... "Yassen suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

"Yassen?" There was no reply. Then Alex saw the red hole on Yassen's left temple.

"Yassen!" yelled Alex, "Yassen! No!" But Yassen's body began to fall. And, this time, Alex knew, he was dead for real.

Alex whipped his head around madly, looking for a sniper. He was hyperventilating. How could this have happened? As he shifted into fighting stance, Alex saw his teacher usher the other students into the school and make his way towards Alex. The other students looked like they were going into shock- even Tom looked wrecked. Then the teacher was by his side.

"Alex! You've got to get inside! You're in danger!" Gabbled the frantic teacher. At the same time, Alex saw a man make his way down the fire escape of a restaurant across the road.

"Sir! Look! That's the guy who killed Yassen!" Alex cried pointing. The teacher froze.

"Alex, you've got to get inside now!"

"But.." Alex's voice saddened. "But Yassen..." He said, looking at the once great assassin who now lay still on the ground.

"Look, look, you can tell me all about it inside!" Alex turned round to face the man. He could see true fear in his teacher's eyes, and he sighed.

"Okay," he murmured reluctantly, and walked back towards the Comprehensive.

* * *

><p>It was 35 minutes after Yassen's death, and Alex Rider was sitting in his school hall, watching the Heads of MI6 take their place on the stage. Blunt moved to the front, and was sitting on a chair slightly behind him, to Alex's right, so that she could still be seen. Blunt cleared his throat,<p>

"I am sure you are all aware of the gun attack that took place this afternoon," he paused, surveying everyone in the school, "Which, unfortunately," –Alex knew that, for Blunt, the death was far from unfortunate; Yassen was MI6's most wanted assassin!- "Killed a man called. Yassen. Gregorovich, he finished. " I am also sure that you are aware that this man had a gun, and was going to shoot... Alex Rider. You may think... That if this man was prepared to kill, then of course he deserved to die." Blunt shook his head. "No. That was not the case. Yassen was Alex's long-lost brother." Alex almost gasped at the incredible lie. Many people, including teachers, actually did, and started shooting him worried or sympathetic glances. Yassen... His brother? Blunt continued. "Yassen was involved with some very dangerous people. These people wanted revenge, and so they were going to kill Alex. The gun was filled with sedative, so that Yassen could drug Alex and take him somewhere safe. But how do we know this? We know this because I am the head of MI6. And Yassen..." Alex thought he saw Blunt fight back a wince, "... Was one of our best agents."

The whole hall was silent, the pupils staring at the stage, some of them still glancing at Alex, this time in shock. Tom nudged Alex in wry amusement. Alex half-shrugged as way of reply. He felt angry that Tom was acting this way, but then again, Alex had never told Tom that he'd kind of... _Liked _Yassen.

Blunt and Jones switched places, and then Mrs. Jones made an announcement which caused Alex's blood to run cold.

"It is likely that the assassins will come back on a revenge mission," said Jones, then added, casually, almost as an afterthought, "therefore you will all go to Brecon Beacons- in Wales- for some standard SAS training."

Everyone in the hall murmured and buzzed excitedly, while Alex gaped. _I probably look like a brain-dead fish right now, _he thought somewhat Mrs. Jones put up a hand for silence.

"Do not get too excited. It will not be easy. In fact, it will probably be the most harsh, wrecking two weeks of your life." _Two weeks! _Raged Alex silently, _two Goddamn weeks!_ Then he tuned back in to the Deputy Head of MI6. "...your form tutor will be handing out slips at the end of the day. Bring them home to your parents and get them signed."

With that, she walked off the centre of the stage, and followed Alan Blunt as he made his way out. _Whoah, and to think I was worried about swimming lessons, _Alex reflected.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, the lie about Yassen only made Alex's social situation worse. As Alex shoved past the glaring streams of children to get to his locker, again Ryan was determined to make Alex's life hell.<p>

"Hey Rider!" Ryan yelled. Alex stopped and turned round to face the boy.

"Yeah?"

"You are just plain... sick!" Spat Ryan. Beside Alex, Tom tensed, but Alex gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head to stop his friend springing on top of the muscular boy. Ryan kept ranting, "I mean, your brother is out there, working for MI6, trying to save you, while you go against the law and slowly kill yourself with drugs!" Alex shrugged.

"I don't take drugs, thanks," he replied, arching an eyebrow, a useful skill he had just learnt. Especially when he wanted to annoy Blunt by copying him. Ryan growled.

"Don't lie to me, twerp."

"I'm not." And then Alex was off, walking towards his locker to collect his books for the last period: Spanish. Thankfully, this was an easy lesson, which would allow Alex to be able to easily take part, while consoling himself over Yassen.

Then he looked up at his locker. The lock had been pulled off it, and all the contents were in a mangled heap inside. Alex's heart raced. He has put a photo of his parents in there! The only photo of his parents he'd ever had- just for the first week, while he was calming down over Scorpia. No.. No.. It couldn't be true... Lying on top of his books, ripped in two, lay Alex's only photo of John and Helen Rider. He picked it up. No... This was all he had...

"Oh God..." Tom breathed beside him. Alex looked round to face his friend, who saw true hurt in Alex's eyes. " I'm- I'm- I'm sorry, Al.." Tom continued, desperately trying to calm his best friend down. But Alex could feel the anger rising up inside him, until he finally exploded,

"Who did this?" He roared, waving the two halves of the photo in the air. Ryan stepped forward,

"I did." Without thinking, without being able to channel his fury, Alex shoved the remnants of the photo back into his destroyed locker and punched Ryan in the stomach. Ryan doubled up gasping,

"You!-" Alex stopped him short.

"That was the only photo I ever had of my Mum and Dad!" He raged, loud enough for students the _floor above_ to hear. "I always knew you were an idiot, but I never thought you'd be such a messed-up moron!"

"Al..." Tom was panicking.

"No, Tom, I will not calm down!" Shouted Alex ,totally losing it.

"Day after day after day, it's always the same! I have to pretend that nothing bothers me, that I don't care! But I do care! Whatever you may think, I'm not a..." Alex had to stop himself from using the F word, "darn druggie! I'm not in a gang! I'm not a convict! I'm just me! I'm just! Alex! Rider!" With that, Alex yanked his Spanish books out of his locker, and slammed it shut as best as he could, leaving Ryan still doubled up on the floor and made his way to Spanish.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello, Alex," <em>greeted the teacher in Spanish. Alex just glared at her so hard she flinched, and stomped off to the back of the class. The teacher was astonished 'this isn't like Alex at all', she mused, as the first students began to file in.

When the lesson had started, Alex and Tom had the back row all to themselves. No one dared make even a whispered comment, or a tiny hint about Alex Rider. They were all stunned by his outburst; Ryan had had to go home he'd been hurt so badly. Then the inevitable call came.

"_Alex Rider? You are wanted in the office?"_ Alex grumbled.

"_Yes, yes, I'll just go now."_ Alex practically stormed out of the classroom, even though he was specifically trying to be calm. When he had left the room, the teacher asked,

"What's wrong with Alex Rider?"

* * *

><p>As soon as Alex left the classroom, he felt all his pent-up rage escape him, to be replaced with sadness. What was he going to <em>do? <em>He'd severely hurt Ryan, however much of a dolt he may have been, and Jack would be there, in the office, waiting for him. Without a doubt. She'd be so _disappointed_ in him. Alex sighed. What was the use? After all the times he'd tried to prove himself to Mr. Bray, to persuade the man to keep him at the school... It had all been for nothing. One outburst and it was all gone. _Goodbye Brooklands,_ Alex thought mournfully. He sighed and set out for the office.

Then he passed his locker. He stopped and turned back. Alex picked up the photo of his parents. Even though it brought a spidery crack through his father's face and his Mother's upper body when he tried to piece it together, it would still help him through this. Who knew a Sepia- tinted photograph would have given him so much strength? Alex pulled himself together. He ended his fascination with the floor and began a brisk walk towards the office, a sense of anger and injustice welling up inside him yet again. If he was going to be expelled, it was not going to be without a fight. He wouldn't be dragged out by the collar like some helpless druggie loner! He was Alex Rider! He'd saved the world! And sure as hell was he gonna save his reputation!

* * *

><p>Now he was here he didn't feel like an invincible Superspy. Alex's hand hovered over the oak-panelled door which led into his Headteacher's office before he brought it down and knocked on the door. And stood back. And waited. It seemed like a decade before the door opened, but it had in fact been only five seconds. Mr. Bray appeared in the doorway, and Alex shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the two halves of the photo. His Headmaster looked down at him for a second, with a look of regret fleeting across his face, so fast that only Alex could have noticed it. He finally spoke.<p>

"You'd better come, in Rider," Bray said heavily, then turned back into the room. Alex's heart jumped when he saw Jack. She looked so, _so_ angry. How could he have let himself get so worked up about this? It was hardly the most traumatizing incident of the century. Annoyed with himself, Alex took a seat, and shuffling the halves of the photo, stared ahead at the nameplate on Bray's desk, his hair falling in front of his eyes to hide his anger and annoyance. Jack was tensed up next to him. _That is angry, _he reflected. But it seemed Jack was angry for an entirely different reason.

"How did that happen?" Jack growled. Alex looked up. And gave a _scared _sigh. If that was even possible.

"L-l- look, Jack. I didn't mean to hit-" But Jack broke him off.

"I'm not talking about that, twerpy," she said, almost jokingly, then her face darkened again. "Who ripped up that photo of your Mum and Dad?" Alex looked away. He didn't want to tell.

"It was Ryan, wasn't it?" The redhead asked softly. Alex said nothing. Then, after a long pause, gave a solitary nod.

"I can see why you punched him. I would've done the same," huffed Jack. Alex grinned slightly, and finally got the courage to look up at his Headteacher. Mr. Bray was not amused. And he certainly had a word or two to say about it.

"Miss Starbright. This is a serious matter. Alex has caused damage to-"

"I don't care who he's caused damage to!" Jack Starbright was on a ranting rampage, and there was no stopping her now, "I think he's hardly touched you precious _Ryan._ And Karpfish", she spat, "What a surname. It's like you're oblivious to everything that happens in your school! I hardly ever see Alex with his classmates, but I can still twig what's going on! Everyone is being horrible to Alex and making his life a misery!" Alex blushed. That was a bit OTT... Jack glanced at him. "Don't look so ashamed, Alex," she contradicted, only making him redder. "They're all out there, calling Alex a druggie, trying to beat him up... Good thing he's an agile kid and can dodge out of the way without hurting anyone..."

Bray was quick to challenge Jack.

"You mean, without _usually _hurting anyone." Jack snorted rudely in reply.

"Whatever. All Alex's peers are ganging up on him, and Ryan's the ringleader! Alex doesn't _need _to be called a druggie. Alex doesn't _need_ getting beaten up. You think he hasn't had enough already? The death of Ian Rider totally devastated him!" Alex flinched a bit at the memory of his dead Uncle, and could tell that both Bray and Jack had registered it. In fact, Bray actually looked quite concerned now.

"... And he's getting sick all the time! He's lying ill in bed, begging me to let him go to school, because he knows that when he gets back his so-called 'friends' are going to hate him even more! And now his long-lost brother's gone..." Jack's voice dropped. "Alex really admired Yassen. He always wanted to be a spy, just like his big brother." Then the American's voice raised again. "And then, on the very same day that his role model dies, some idiot kid who's so full of himself goes and rips up Alex's photo of his parents!" Bray was now clearly unsettled.

"W-w- well... can't he get another one?" Finished the Headmaster lamely.

"Get another one? _Get another one?" _Cried jack, causing Bray to jump rather violently. "That's the last photo he ever had! Well, of them together..." Bray finally looked very shamefaced.

"Well, I wouldn't blame Alex to much for this, but it's not that simple..." Bray trailed off, an intent expression on his face. There was an awkward silence, then Alex decided to say something for the first time during the whole meeting.

"Why not?"

"Well... If I didn't at least give you a suspension for this, I could get into trouble with the Education Board; they already want you expelled..." Seeing Alex's worried expression, the Headteacher had the sense to change the subject. "B- but I'm sure it won't come to that! On another note, I would like to give Ryan a suspension, maybe even get him expelled- You're the victim in all this! However, other people don't see it that way. They see Ryan as the victim, not you."

Alex pondered for a moment.

"You just need to give him a fright."

"Give him a fright?" Exclaimed Bray, clearly taken aback.

"You know... Maybe ask him to see you at lunch- So it's more like a detention," Alex explained hastily, "...And give him... err...a 'pep talk', you know, and tell him how he's violating the code of conduct, and that his behaviour could be grounds for being expelled."

"Yes...A good idea, Alex." Then Jack cut in.

"But... How do you know that'd work?" She pointed out gently, "I mean, Ryan could stop being mean to Alex, but he could tell everyone about his 'detention talk' and then all the other kids would hate Alex."

"You could pretend I denied it. Or you could say that... The caretaker told you! The caretaker was there when I punched Ryan, and, since the guy's so muscular, no one would dare mess with him."

"Alex, you're a genius!" Cried Jack excitedly, then turning to face Bray, said, "It's the perfect cover, isn't it!" The Headmaster seemed to consider the idea for a few moments, and eventually nodded.

"Yes. Quite perfect. Well done Alex, but I'm afraid I'll have to give you a week's suspension. I could get fired otherwise!" Alex nodded.

"Sure. But could you get some of the teachers to send me some work over the school email system? .uk?

Bray nodded.

"I'll do it."

* * *

><p>When Alex stepped out of the Headmaster's office, it was lunchtime. Some of Ryan's cronies filed past, giving him glares which were quickly returned by not him, but Jack. As they scuttled off, shamefaced, Alex noticed Tom standing in the corridor.<p>

"Finally, Al! What's the verdict?"

"Okay, patience 80 year o-" Alex was cut off by Tom giving him a serious whack. "What?" He protested, "I mean 'the verdict' -that's old talk! However, I am surprised you know _such a big word, little Tommy_." Tom just glared at his friend,

"Well? What's gunna happen?" Alex sighed.

"I got a week's suspension."

"What?" Tom was enraged, "Ryan was a real bit-"

"Shut up Tom! Or you'll be given a detention. God, if Mrs. Bedfordshire heard that, you'd be in detention for a year!"

Tom pouted but abruptly shut up. Then he looked at Jack's ankle.

"Jack, wha-" Tom was cut off mid-sentence when he saw the look in his friends eyes; defeated. Ack. What the hell had happened out in Cairo or wherever? "Okay, okay, maybe not quite the right place..." _Or the right time,_ Tom thought worriedly.

There was an awkward silence before Jack leapt into action.

"I'll be okay, Tom!" She said, quite loudly so that eavesdroppers could hear, "It's quite comical actually, though it hurt a dang lot at the time," Alex noticed that she frowned, though not completely theatrically. "Well, I was just walking along to the mall," _Jack still calls the Shopping Centre the Mall?_ Tom wondered thoughtfully, _Maybe she's homesick..._ "Anyway, there was this **_huge _**pile of dog poop- It was, like, sooo gross!"

A few students were loitering around and listening to Jack, Alex noted. He felt uneasy with this attention. Jack kept nattering on, "...And, so I quickly dodged round it before I _fell_ in it, but I fell on the pavement-thankfully a patch with no poop on it- and this old man is coming down the street really fast on a mobility scooter... I think you can guess what happened next."

There were lots of 'ooohs' and 'ouches' from the children who had stopped to listen-_Sorry, eavesdrop,_ Alex corrected himself- before they dispersed to tell their friends about Druggie's guardian.

Then... Alex really did have bad luck didn't he? As he and Jack were about to shuffle out the door, Alex felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Cub?" Alex whirled round so fast the man nearly crashed to the ground. He looked at the guy for a second, then whispered,

"Snake?" The medic nodded. "What are you doing here?" Asked Alex maybe a bit too enthusiastically, as a couple of heads turned his way. He felt himself start to flush, but Snake just chuckled wryly.

"Decided I'd had enough of the SAS. Too much death on the field. So, since I've got a nice little degree... From _Cambridge University_," he boasted, chuckling at Alex's facial expression, "I thought I'd just waltz by here and get myself a nice little job teaching English. To all the top sets."

Alex's jaw dropped to a record low.

"Right, I am so gonna work hard in English... I'm gonna work hard to get put down a set!" Much to his annoyance, Snake grinned.

"Don't be scared, little Cub," he mocked gently, "I'll be teaching you pretty soon. Maybe even tomorrow!" Alex looked glum.

"I won't be here tomorrow." Glancing at Snake's surprised expression, he explained, "I punched this kid 'cuz he ripped up my only photo of my parents." Alex now ignored the ex-SAS man's enquiring eyes, he finished up with, "Oh, and, my name's Alex Rider." Then he turned on his heel and stormed out, flanked by guards, and not hearing Snake's strangled cry,

"Not _the _Alex Rider?"

* * *

><p>Snake was shocked. Completely and utterly shocked. <em>Cub<em> was the famous _Alex Rider_? It couldn't be true. There had been rumours flying round camp that he'd even _gone into space._ Everyone knew that Alex Rider was fictional; there was no way a teenager could have done those things. Snake and the rest of K-Unit hadn't even considered that it could have been Cub!

Then Snake was snapped out of his daze.

"Scott Crotchet?"

"Yes, that's me," Snake replied, looking at the man in front of him: Mr. Bray. _Donkey_, piped up a remote corner of his mind, _would be a perfect codename for someone with the surname Bray_.

"My name is Henry Bray. I'm the Headteacher. You'd better come into my office." The nervous teacher-to-be followed his employer-to-be into the office. Then the Headteacher started talking again.

"Well, I am aware that you are only new here," said the man, clearly nervous, "but we have a problem; you see, a man who worked for MI6 was shot on the school grounds- happened to be related to one of our students." Bray exhaled heavily. Snake tensed. _This is undoubtedly something to do with Cub..._

"So...?" He prompted his employer.

"So, MI6 have decided to send the children to an SAS training camp next week, for two weeks. They will be trained by some people called..." Bray looked at a file, "SAS men Eagle, Wolf, Tiger, and an MI6 man who was Fox in the SAS."

"Fox didn't get binned?" Snake couldn't stop himself from blurting it out. He was also thinking about his replacement, and what K-Unit's reaction would be towards Cub, Or Alex Rider. Bray gave him a worried look.

"Anyway, we are still trying to find some teacher willing to accompany the students on this trip." It took Snake every ounce of energy he could muster not to start dancing on the table in uncontrollable glee.

"Yes!" He yelled, "Of course I'll do it ...Man, I can't wait to see the rest of K unit again." Henry Bray gave Snake a perplexed look,

"What are you talking about, Scott?"

"Oh, um, well, I used to be in the SAS. I was with K unit- Fox, Wolf and Eagle. We thought Fox had got binned... –That's basically being thrown out of the SAS- But he'd actually upgraded to MI6...? Wow..."

"Since you know these men, do you have any idea what activities you'll be doing?" At Bray's query, Snake grinned evilly, throwing the Headmaster off- balance.

"Oh yes..." Chuckled Snake, "I'm pretty sure they'll call them maggots, make them do push ups, maybe go on the obstacle course-Minimum completion time of 20 minutes, paintball- K-Unit vs. Them... Yeah, it'll be great. Though none of them will be as good as Cub..." Snake trailed off.

"Who's Cub?"

"Oh, it was this kid with real rich parents. They wanted him to be able to defend himself- you know, in case of ransoms and stuff," Snake hated lying through his teeth, "but it turned out he was a total legend. He was there for two weeks, yet in that time he even managed to be good as some of our more experienced soldiers..."

"Well, don't compare the children in my school with Cub; some of them can't even do one push-up," Bray warned.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Now let's get back to business. So... Have you met any of the students yet?"

"Yes. One. C- Alex Rider." Snake noticed Bray looking at him strangely, "It seems he got a suspension?"

"Correct. I was reluctant... The boy has been through a lot... Been absent many times since the death of his Uncle, Ian Rider..."

"And could I see the times of his absence?"

"Of course," Mr. Bray responded, pushing a file towards Snake. Snake flicked through it... And gasped.

"What's wrong?" Snake shook his head. All the absences... They were all at the exact same times as rumour said Rider's missions were. He was going to have to interrogate Cub about that later.

"Nothing," he replied quietly, closing the file and pushing it back over the desk. "But..I was thinking..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I was thinking that the Alex Rider kid- Maybe he could go to SAS camp a week early?" Seeing Bray half-raise an eyebrow, he went into detail, "Well, you know, the kid's on the football team, so, obviously, he likes sport and he's athletic. If he got an extra week imagine how much better he'd be than all his classmates! The kid deserves to come out on top for once!"

When Mr. Bray spoke, it was with faint incredulity, almost like he was surprised his new employee was so smart.

"That _is _ a good idea. I'll call MI6." And with that, he reached for a phone, dialled a number, and waited.

"Hello? Is this MI6?"

...

"Henry Bray, Headmaster of Brooklands. I wish to speak to Alan Blunt.

...

"Hello. It's about one of my students, Alex Rider. He's been suspended for a week, but I think that week would be better spent in the SAS camp."

...

"Thank you. Goodbye." Bray glanced at Snake. "They said yes."

* * *

><p>Alex Rider was eating dinner in his home in Chelsea when the phone rang. He reluctantly dragged himself away from his pasta- the sauce, for once, was really nice- and picked up the phone.<p>

"Hello?"

...

"Wha-aaaat?"

...

"No. Way."

...

"Fine. What time?"

...

Alex hung up without saying goodbye. How did they have the right to just make decisions for him? His mood dark, he sat down and resumed eating the pasta. Except this time, he was attacking the pasta, as though it was the sole source of all his problems. The pasta, however, had done nothing, and prepared to die mournfully. _Now I won't get to see the Oesophagus,_ it whinged soundlessly. **_(1)_**

Finally Jack had decided that she would be safe from any **Laser Glare 10,000s™**, and piped up,

"Alex, who was that?"

"MI6." Before Jack managed to start ranting on about them, he continued, "They want to send me to SAS camp early. It might be a plus actually... I mean, I never really liked K-Unit, but-"

"Understatement of the year award goes to Alex Rider. Congratulations," Jack chipped in, very sarcastically. Alex snorted amusedly.

"Well, Okay, I hated them and they made my life miserable, but MI6 said that they'd get the teachers to tell my classmates about my early arrival. You know, because of my suspension. Then when the other kids get there, I could help be in charge of them." Alex grinned very, very evilly. "...And when my classmates wonder how I'm so good at everything, I'll just say it was down to my individual training week." Jack nodded.

"I see... If you're in charge of them, you get to scream at them and tell them all how useless they are at the SAS stuff and finally get some payback!" The redhead laughed hysterically, "That's an awesome idea, Al, it really is!"

"Yeah," smirked Alex, "Except for Tom of course. Even if he's the worst of my group, I'll make him the silver boy." Seeing Jack's baffled expression, he, while going into a 'flexing muscles' pose, elaborated:

"Because, I, of course, will be the SAS Golden Boy."

* * *

><p><em><strong>(1) Sorry, couldn't resist. R.I.P Fred Fusili! Lol<strong>_

**So... this is my first fanfic! I'd love to know what you think. Comments regarding writing skill/punctuation improvement wanted. OOC comments also welcome. So... I'm thinking that, yeah, Alex's class turn up at SAS and they all have to call Alex 'Sir' because he's so good. Maybe also a crisis when Alex goes to MI6 and Alex's file is left unguarded, right in front of him... Can he resist a peek? or does he take it to BB?**


	2. The Alex Rider Mission Files

**Hiya! I'm back and better than ever! So... let's find out what is happening to Alex today! Lalalala! And, again, I DISCLAIM Alex Rider and all other characters! **

**Happy reading! ;)**

The shrill of the alarm clock cut into Alex's thoughts. He was exhausted. _Damn, I had only about two hours of sleep last night, and now I have to go to SAS training camp. Wonderful, _he thought sarcastically to himself. As he tried to drag his body out of bed, he groaned. He was wet from sweat and both mentally and physically tired. He didn't want to think about the nightmare he'd had that night, but his mind wouldn't let him.

_It was cold. It was damp. It was dark. Alex Rider was huddling in a grimy cell. He didn't know where he was, who had done this, or where Jack was. Then Alex saw himself walk through the door. It took a few seconds to register in his numbed brain that it was Julius Grief. Grief stepped out of the shadows, wearing a crazed expression. Blood was pouring out of a hole in his head._

"_You did this..." He croaked at Alex before falling to the ground, lifeless._

_Then Alex walked out of the cell, and the world exploded in front of him. He saw Jack, burnt and twisted, lying on the ground. He fell to his knees, despair taking over, and then a silver scorpion prepared to sink its tail into his ankle as he knelt there, paralysed, unable to move..._

Alex gasped. He had to get those horrible images out of his mind... He decided to take a shower. All of his stuff was packed. He would be leaving for the Beacons at 8:00am. It was now 7:10.

He scrambled out of the shower and dried himself, pulling on some clothes; it was 7:20 and he wanted to have some time to say a proper goodbye to Jack... He wouldn't be seeing her for 3 weeks! Nor would he be able to call her. Frankly, Alex was... Worried. SCORPIA would stop at nothing to get to him and they already knew that Jack was his weak spot.

Alex was wearing a faded rolling stones T-shirt and some scuffed up jeans- SAS camp wasn't exactly fashion central- and he remembered a time when he had worn that T-shirt before... When he had seen Yassen when he was in the South of France with Sab. Sabina... He'd have to give her a call sometime... No matter how many girls were falling at his 'hot and dangerous' feet, he was still loyal to her.

As he made his way down the stairs, rucksack in hand, he heard shouting. First Jack's angry voice, with its typical American loudness,

"Hey! Who are you? You can't just come barging in here!" A man's voice responded, calm and quiet. Alex couldn't quite make out the words, so he shrugged to himself and bounded down the stairs to investigate.

Then he saw Fox, otherwise known as:

"Ben!" Cried Alex, now happy and relieved. Ben was pretty cool, not all grey like Alan Blunt and everyone else who skulked around in the bank. _Ben actually knows what words such as 'funny' and 'laugh' mean, _thought Alex with a certain degree of sarcasm. Jack looked slightly bemused, but Ben grinned widely,

"Hey Alex! You ready to go to camp and kick Wolf's butt?" Alex laughed at the MI6 agent's greeting.

"Sure! But I haven't even had breakfast yet..." Alex glanced at the clock, which now said 7:25. "..And I'm not meant to be leaving for 35 minutes!"

"Uh... Sure, sure, I didn't mean _right_ now... I, uh, just wanted to come by a bit early 'cuz I couldn't wait to see my old... uh... K-Unit-mate?" Before Alex could reply, Jack cut in,

"Alex. Sit down, because, One: Your bacon roll is getting cold, and Two: You know this guy?"

"Ok, Jack... One: I love bacon rolls, thanks. And this one's great!" Commented Alex as he took a bite. Then he mumbled through his mouthful, "Yeah. He's the guy I was telling you about. You know, the one who killed Ash?"

"What, that guy who was your Godfather?" Ben paled slightly on hearing this.

"I-I- I killed your Godfather?" Alex snorted.

"Some Godfather _he_ was. Blew up my parents when I was one and turned me into Major Yu." Now fuming, Alex mauled his bacon roll on the next bite.

"Uh... Okay..."

"Look, Ben, you did me a _favour_," Alex reassured the man.

Everyone stood there shifting in very awkward silence.

**PG BREAK**

Tom was walking into school and making his way to his locker. Eyeing the armed guards swarming round the school, he wondered if Alex was at Brecon Beacons yet. _Brecon Beacons! _ Thought Tom hysterically, _Oh my God, Alex is gonna be so so cool and he gonna be awesome and and and... Yes! Yes yes yes! _ Tom was soon yanked off his train of thought when he felt a fist connect with his arm.

"Hey!" The small boy shouted indignantly. A kid called...Brian White? towered over him. A kid who was strong and muscular. A kid who was the hierarchy in the social circle. A kid who was Ryan's best friend.

"Where's Alex?" Grunted Brian in a threatening tone.

"Oh, uh, he got a week's suspension," gabbled Tom, "and he got sent to SAS camp early. You know, so he wouldn't be wasting his time?"

"You mean not taking drugs?"

"Alex doesn't take drugs!" Roared Tom, "Don't you understand anything, you idiot? It's the simplest concept known to man: Alex's uncle die. Alex get sad. Alex's immune system weaken with sadness. Alex get sick. Alex stay off school," Tom explained, while doing a terrific impression of an early caveman. Some of the other kids were laughing at Brian's expense. Brian went red.

"Well, your friend _Alex _had better watch out when I see him next. He beat Ryan up pretty bad. I just gotta honour my friend." Tom snorted.

"Can you hear yourself? You sound like some sort of cheesy action movie! And Ryan only got a little stomach punch. If he's really that feeble, I'm surprised he's a bully. I bet it's only 'cuz you're his friend," Tom retorted, and turned on his heel.

"Hey!" Shouted Brian, "Come back!"

But Tom Harris was already walking away.

**PG BREAK**

Alex hugged Jack for maybe the hundredth time.

"I'll see you, Alex."

"You too, Jack."

Then Alex was walking out the door with Ben, Jack clunking behind on her crutches to wave goodbye. Ben opened the door.

"Bye, Jack! Love you!"

"Love you too, Alex!"

Alex immediately blushed when he saw three figures standing outside, one of them having raised a hand to knock, which was now frozen in midair, and his face held some traces of surprise. Alex recognised the man.

"Crawley."

"Oh, uh... Sup Alex!" Greeted Crawley, in a very obviously failed attempt to sound young and cool. _He really isn't that good a spy, _thought Alex.

"Alright. When you're done making a fool of yourself, you can tell me what you're here for," replied Alex, glancing at the other two agents. Another man and a woman. Crawley dropped his hand.

"Well, uh, we're here as bodyguards!" Explained the sheepish man rapidly, lifting up his jacket so that only Alex could see the vast selection of guns and knives hidden underneath.

"Good," said the teen coldly," No slacking on the job," he said as he pushed past a bewildered Crawley, Ben bringing up the rear.

**PG BREAK**

10 minutes later, Alex Rider was once again sitting in a grey room in a grey chair, facing a grey man.

"Why am I here?" Alex asked in a demanding voice, "and not on my way to Brecon Beacons?" Blunt stayed annoyingly silent for a while, then spoke,

"We wanted to brief you on Yassen Gregorovich." Alex froze, earning himself an anxious glance from Fox. Blunt continued, "We sent agents in to clear up, and there are many snipers in close proximity to the school, should SCORPIA storm it. As further reinforcement, there are armed guards placed throughout your school. Luckily your classmates are not suspecting you in any way." At Alex's curious expression, he explained, "Our guards listen into the pupils conversations."

"You _what_ ?" Spluttered Alex. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Even for Blunt...This was low. Listening into people talking about their private lives, boyfriends. People chatting about inside jokes. Secretly gossiping. Mentioning things to their friends they wanted no-one else to know about. Alex also had to work to fight back a blush. Blunt had probably heard about the 'druggie' situation, and found out that he had a fanclub. Damn.

"Standard information retrieval. And," Suggested Blunt in a _very_ un-Blunt-like manner, "You might want to ask Katy Reilly out on a date. Or perhaps your whole _fanclub_."

If Alex had been holding a machete at that very moment, he would not have hesitated for even a millisecond to use it on Blunt. Instead he settled on the most vicious glare he could possibly muster and aimed. At that second in time, Alex Rider wished that looks really could kill. But then there would be too many mass-murderers... Urgh.

Ben made a dreadfully unwise decision. He snickered, then visibly wilted away as Alex quickly swung round to train his glare on his next unfortunate victim.

"Hey, Cub, it's not my fault I have a sense of humour!" Whined the former SAS agent in mock-hurt. Alex snorted but decided to spare him.

"Now if we may get more to the point, _Blunt,_"snarled the indignant teenager.

"Of course," said the man curtly, "We have developed a photo of you and Yassen-" Blunt was cut off by Mrs. Jones hurrying into the room,

"Mr. Blunt," she blurted, rather frantically, to Alex's surprise, "We have a double code red!" Blunt went rigid and quickly slid a photo across the desk towards Alex,

"Take this." And with that, he hurried out of the room with as much composure as he could possibly muster.

Alex and Ben were left sitting shocked in the empty room. Alex picked up the photo. It showed him and Yassen standing happily together in what seemed to be a sunny Spanish plaza. Alex stared at it for a while and was broken out of his observations by Ben's voice echoing round the room,

"Well, what you waiting for, Alex? Let's go."

"Sure," replied the teen, "You go. Just give me a second."

"Okay..." Mumbled the confused man, walking out the door.

As soon as Ben was gone, Alex leapt into action. First he carefully placed the forged photo in his rucksack, then turned back to Blunt's desk. On it lay a file labelled: _Alexander .J. Rider. _There was also a shiny disk which Alex assumed to be a DVD, also with his name on it. Quickly glancing round warily to make sure no-one was watching him, Alex quickly picked up his bulky file and the DVD, then stuffed them both down to the depths of his rucksack.

**PG BREAK**


	3. A Single Shot

**Hiya! I'm back! Now... Let's see what to do with those poor little kiddies... Muahahaha! Now... I WILL BE EXPECTING REVIEWS! If you don't review, you get a zombie Yassen Gregorovich on your trail. Understood? Good.**

**... Damn, that rhymes!**

**PG BREAK**

Alex Rider was very bored. He'd been stuck in a car with Fox for almost 3 hours straight. And on top of that, it had taken Alex exactly one hour and forty-five minutes to persuade the man to stop driving like a drunkard and to stop cursing Google Maps. Then when the MI6 agent had calmed down, he and Alex had talked about school, and sometimes touched on missions. Unfortunately, whenever the subject came up, Alex quickly brushed it away. Now they were silent, and all the teenager could think of, as he stared out the window, was the file taking refuge in his bag. Then Fox cut into his thoughts with a cry,

"We're almost there! Just another half hour or so." Alex groaned, and decided to annoy Ben,

"Oh dear Lord, will I ever survive?" He asked the car roof while trying not to laugh.

"I'm driving the car, you know. I can kill us both." Alex raised an eyebrow sarcastically. "Okay... Maybe that wouldn't be such a good revenge tactic..." Ben trailed off.

"Oh really? I never would have guessed." Ben snorted at Alex's reply, then his face became serious,

"Listen, Alex, there are rumours flying around SAS camp about you." Ben paused. "Not about you, as in, Cub. Everyone's talking about the teenage spy said to be named Alex Rider."

"What? I mean, I like... Look, what exactly do the rumours say? And do K-Unit know?"

"Well, the legend says-"

"Wow, I'm a legend," smirked Alex. "Now _you_ have to look up to me!" Ben grinned at the spy's ability to make wisecracks at even the most serious of times.

"Anyway, Alex, K-Unit doesn't know... Though I think Wolf has an idea..." He saw Alex nod on the edges of his vision. "Anyway, Snake called. He told K-Unit that 'Alex Rider was coming'."

"What? Really? Did he mention that I was Cub?"

"No. The phone was on loudspeaker, by the way. So we could all listen. Anyway, I think the conversation went something like this:

**PG BREAK**

_**Eagle:**__ Hello?_

_**Snake:**__ You know that one of those school kids is joining your unit today?_

_**Wolf:**__ Damn kid... Should know better than to get a damn suspension..._

_**Snake:**__ Whatever. Well... I met the kid... He goes to the school I work in..._

_**Eagle:**__ Cool! You can give him F-minuses for that! ... Ow, Wolf, that hurt!_

_**Snake:**__ Shut up Eagle. Anyway... It seems his name is Alex Rider..._

_**Tiger/Eagle/Wolf:**__ Not THE Alex Rider?_

_(All look at eachother while Ben shifts around)_

_**Snake:**__ I think so... I had a look at his absences and they all line up perfectly with the times of his missions._

_**Eagle:**__ Al-ex Ri-der! __Al-ex Ri-der !_

_**Wolf :**__ Shut the hell up if you value your life._

_**Eagle:**__…._

_**Snake:**__ And another thing…._

_**Wolf:**__ Yeah?_

_**Snake:**__ Nothing… Just be ready for a surprise…_

**PG BREAK**

"They'll be in for a surprise all right," Alex sniggered.

"Yeah. They sure will. And, Alex, the rumours are pretty… 2D; you see, all they consist of are: The number of missions, which is 9, and the time they took place. No-one knows where though. The other small pieces of information circulating is the fact that you are fourteen, and you allegedly got trapped in a tank with a deadly jellyfish, snowboarded down a mountain on an ironing board, stopped a nuclear bomb detonating, went into space, dived down the Bora Falls, nearly got fed to crocodiles, and got waterboarded by the CIA. Is it all true?"

"Yes." Alex's voice was icy and his eyes were cold, while Ben's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"What? I mean, I know that you infiltrated the Snakehead, and got involved with Scorpia and everything, but _it's all true? _

"Yes."

"_And you got waterboarded by the CIA?" _Alex nodded silently,

"They thought that because I was a British spy that I was going to kill the Secretary of State when she made her anti-Brit speech in Cairo."

"And the other things…?"

"Don't ask." Ben nodded, thankfully being smart enough not to approach these issues.

"Look, Alex, I can see the camp! Just up there!" Fox indicated with a wave of his hand," We'll be there in a minute."

_Great, _thought Alex Rider, _One minute to 3 weeks of hell._

**PG BREAK**

"On your feet!" Yelled the sergeant, whose face was now the colour of a tomato. Alex tried to bite back a laugh when he saw Wolf rapidly let go of his book and try to jump up so fast that he banged his head on the bunk above. Alex failed, and gave a loud snicker, causing Ben to smile, and the Sarge to wheel back to face him.

"You do NOT laugh at your Unit Leader, Cub!" The man roared into his face, before stalking off. "I'll leave you to it." Wolf and Eagle's jaws promptly dropped open when they saw Alex standing jubilantly in the doorway. Eagle was the first to speak-sorry, shriek.

First the idiotic man screamed like a Justin Bieber fan, then nearly deafened anyone within a 50-mile radius with a hysterical yell of,

"Oh my God! Cub is _Alex Rider_!" Everyone in K-Unit snickered at Eagle's expense when Alex replied,

"Wow, Eagle. I never could work that out for myself!" Even more humiliating was that he used the tone of voice you would have when talking to a toddler. Which, mentally, the SAS man seemed to be similar to. Eagle pouted angrily.

"So…Cub," said Wolf hesitantly, "You gonna tell us about all your wonderful adventures?" Alex fely a sense of anger overcome him. He had come to SAS camp so that he didn't have to be Alex Rider for a while. Not Alex Rider, the superspy. Not Alex Rider, the druggie. Just _Cub, _the SAS golden boy! But he didn't let Wolf see that.

"Sure..." he replied smoothly, then glided over to a man he didn't recognise. It was a slightly tanned guy with black hair and... amber eyes? "Hi. I don't think I've met you before..."

"No, you haven't. I'm Tiger," the enthusiastic man introduced himself. Now that he was talking, Alex could see that his canines were unnaturally sharp. Hmmm... Maybe he could direct the attention towards Tiger rather than himself...

"So why have you got amber eyes and sharp teeth?" Tiger smiled as if in on a private joke, which Alex found out he was.

"Everyone asks me that. It's contacts and... sort of... braces thingies. I do it so that people get freaked. Especially civilians. Unfortunately for me, you didn't get freaked." Tiger sighed, but not sadly. "Would've been funny if you had."

Alex was about to think of another question to ask Tiger, but Wolf had seen what he'd been trying to do.

"Enough of that, Cub," he snarled. "Now open up!" Alex wheeled round and gave him a hard glare.

"No," Alex responded, his tone of voice making him seem almost inhuman. Then he was back to normal, but still with a icy quality. "Anyway, shouldn't we be doing the obstacle course or something?" Then Alex Rider stormed off, Ben on his heel, with a dazed Wolf, Tiger and Eagle bringing up the rear.

**PG BREAK**

Alex had beaten his time on the obstacle course. It was down from 17 minutes to 10.

"Wow..." Commented Tiger as Alex crossed the finish, "That's pretty damn fast..."

"Really?" Alex puffed, walking round so that his muscles wouldn't seize up. Eagle went over to Tiger's side and looked at the stopwatch, his face immediately lighting up in awe.

"And, the amazing Alex Rider-"

"Cub!" Eagle looked chastened as Alex snapped at him angrily, then calmed down. "It's Cub, alright?" Eagle nodded dumbly and resumed his commentary, but with less enthusiasm.

"And, the courageous Cub finishes the course in a record-breaking time of 10 minutes! No fifteen year old has ever gone so fast before!" Alex glared,

"Oh yeah. And I really thought I had actually made it into the top rankings." Tiger interrupted,

"Slow down, Cub. Some people have been here for _years _and they haven't managed a time like that."

"Really?"

"Really."

**PG BREAK**

The rest of the day was pretty simple- for an SAS training day, that is. They'd done sprints, hikes, survival techniques, first aid... Just the basics, really. Alex stretched. He'd never admit it, especially as it was only his first day, but he was pretty tired. He went and washed his face and brushed his teeth along with the rest of K-Unit. Then came the problem of changing into his pyjamas without the others seeing his wounds... He couldn't just turn his back to him because he had the burn marks from Kenya...

"Hey, Cub?" It was Wolf.

"Yeah?" Seemingly knowing what he was thinking, Wolf gestured to a curtained-off space.

"You can change in there if you like."

"Thanks."

**PG BREAK**

Then when Alex walked out, fully pyjama-ed and ready to just switch off for the night, the others decided to pounce on him.

"WTF is going on?" Yelled Alex, as they pinned him down on his bunk.

"Language, Cub," scolded Wolf, "Now you're gonna tell us all about your missions."

"Ben! Help me out here!" The MI6 agent looked at the floor and twiddled his thumbs.

"Well, Alex... I really... kinda... wanna hear what you have to say..."

"How would you feel if this was you?" Fox sighed.

"Well, I've told them about my missions anyway..." Alex growled angrily. He really wished he could just throw them all to the ground. He was seeing red. He kicked and struggled and lashed out, but it was no use. Someone had found some rope and tied his arms and legs to the bedposts.

"Let! Me! Go!" Alex roared.

"Not until you tell us about all 9 of your missions," countered Wolf.

"No. Way. In. Hell," spat the enraged teen, still struggling against his bindings, but only ending up with rope burn.

"We have all night."

"Nooo.." Whined the blonde, flopping up and down miserably on the bed. He really wanted to go to bed; it had been a tough day, and he needed to be prepared for more tomorrow. Alex supposed he could just try to go to sleep. Even though the ropes were uncomfortable, he'd still be able to drift off. He'd done so in worse situations. Alex would be asleep and there'd be nothing K-Unit could do about it. He closed his eyes. And found out about ten seconds later that he was wrong.

TOOOOOOT! Alex's eyes snapped open as Eagle beeped a horn right into his ear.

"What the hell, Eagle?" The superspy was now so deeply annoyed that if he'd been free, Eagle would soon have become nothing but a heap of broken bones.

"Sorry," murmured the SAS man, sulky at having been chided by the great Alex Rider for the second time that day. Unfortunately, this set the Unit leader off,

"Eagle! You're not meant to apologise! We're supposed to be getting him to speak up, remember? Not giving him the happy-land treatment!" Then Wolf turned back to Alex, "Just tell us already, would ya, Cub?" Alex was close to despair now. He looked away.

"Stop asking me about my missions," the teen looked away, and his voice was so unemotional and commanding that even Ben was stunned, but it was upset and pained at the same time, "When I am at SAS camp, I am Cub. Not Alex Rider, okay? Not a superspy. Just another member of the unit," he was growling now, rigid.

Everyone stood in an awkward silence. Then Tiger spoke,

"Okay, I guess we'd better let him go." No-one moved. Tiger sighed, and started untying Alex from the bed. Wolf suddenly unfroze himself and helped.

As soon as Alex was free, he stormed out of the hut.

"Hey, Cub, where are you going!" Wolf bellowed after him.

"For a walk," snarled the enraged superspy. He was furious at himself. How could he have let a bunch of SAS men get to him? He was, what, the world's best superspy? He should easily have been able to whack himself free! Alex needed to get rid of his pent-up rage. He stalked off to the firing range.

**PG BREAK**

K-Unit sat in awkward silence. They were all reflecting on their actions and all felt strangely ashamed. Then they heard a shot ring through the night.

"What was that!" Asked Wolf rapidly, jumping up in defense.

"Probably some losers with no hand-eye coordination practicing at the shooting range," replied a dejected Ben. There was another momentary silence before Eagle spoke up,

"What if it's Al- Cub?" Tiger's head jerked upwards at the thought.

"We'd better go check if it is! Darn, the kid could accidentally hurt himself! I mean, you can't just leave a fifteen-year old with a gun!" Wolf nodded.

"Let's go."

**PG BREAK**

Alex was in a blind fury. He shot out magazine after magazine of bullets, never ceasing once. Even though so many thoughts were swirling round his head, he still got every single bullet bang-on target. He was mentally cursing everyone he'd ever hated.

_This is for you, Herod Sayle. Another for Fraülein Vole. Wouldn't want to leave you out, now would we? Hugo Grief, Eva Stellenbosch, Sarov, Conrad... Cray, Nile, Julia! Everyone in SCORPIA... Oh, yeah, and especially Dr. Three and Major Yu too. Damn, that rhymes... Drevin and Kaspar can both go to hell, along with their minions. Antony Sean Howell-Some Godfather he was. Desmond Mc. Cain, Myra Bennett, oh, and of course the Chinese triads. And especially Razim and Julius Grief... How could they do that to Jack? _

On this last thought, Alex fired even faster and even harder, with more hatred he'd ever had before.

He was so absorbed in his shooting that he didn't notice the four stunned SAS men standing in the door.


	4. An understanding Sarge!

**URGENT!**

**Heya! Just letting you know: I've changed Chapter 2 towards the end; Alex takes his file which is lying on Blunt's desk. And REVIEW! Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider.**

* * *

><p>K-Unit hovered by the door, staring in silence. Alex didn't see them; he was still too caught up in his own thoughts. Angrily, he threw the gun to the ground with a snarl and watched it clatter around before it lay still.<p>

_I never should have let SCORPIA get anywhere near Jack. She'll be scarred for life... And not only by the burns on her back... _Alex knew just how much burns hurt. He could still imagine the aviation fuel raining down his back in Kenya. He sighed, still staring at the floor, still oblivious to K-Unit. _She could have __**died **__because of me! _He yelled in his head. Alex stopped staring at the ground and sat down on it instead. He threw the gun at the wall in rage.

Wolf jetted into action. He snuck along silently to where Alex was sitting, dejected. He used the clatter of the gun against the wall to cover up the sound of his footsteps. Alex, meanwhile, was reliving that horrible night in Razim's lab. He hated Grief more than words could describe. _Why? Why? Killing him still hurts! Even though, even after... all the things he did to me... Sometimes I just look in the mirror and see a bullet hole in my own head! I wanted my life back... But instead I truly went past a point from where there is no return... _

Fox was getting very agitated looking at Alex. How the kid could manage to look so pale and depressed, he didn't know. Exactly _what _had MI6 done to him? Ben had never even seen adults in that state. He'd been through so much himself, but to be that depressed... What the _hell _had Alex Rider been subjected to? Then Wolf's roar broke him out of his trancelike state.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU BEEN PUT THROUGH TO LOOK SO DAMN DEPRESSED, CUB!" _Wow. That must have been Wolf's new loudy-shoutython record, _reflected a sombre Eagle.

All of K-Unit apart from Wolf flinched in surprise when Alex jumped up into fighting stance the moment Wolf's 'greeting' reached his ears, a mask sliding into place. Then the teenager relaxed and put on an expression of bemusement, panic, dread and embarrassment all rolled into one. He shifted,

"Hi guys..." Started Alex quietly before trailing off, and refusing to meet their eyes. Then his eyes flicked over to the gun which had fallen into pieces on the ground after impacting the wall, "Uh... I'll go, uh, put the gun away..." He continued, picking up all the parts.

With the notion that it would take a teenager ages to assemble a gun, Tiger offered help,

"I'll do that."

"It's okay," replied an awkward Alex, who hastily reassembled the weapon before anyone in the unit had time to blink.

There was yet another stunned silence before Ben Daniels spoke up, suddenly livid,

"How did you do that so quickly! And this!" He raged on, pointing at the targets Alex had shot, all with a perfect bulls-eye, "Who taught you how to do that!"

Alex was getting pretty scared at this point. Even _Ben _had blown at him and was fuming. Ben wasn't meant to be like this! He was meant to understand!

"I-I- I... my Uncle k-k- kinda t-taught me..." Stuttered the nervous spy. Unfortunately Ben could see right through him.

"Don't give me that, Alexander Rider! You can't just _learn_. You don't just get lucky! That standard of shooting could only be achieved by someone who trained with SCORPIA! ..." Then the agent faltered, seeing Alex's face pale dramatically. He added a hint of steel to his voice, "SCORPIA taught you...?" Alex flinched. And flinched again _How could I have let them hurt you, Jack!_

"Don't EVER mention SCORPIA to me EVER again!" He yelled, thinking all the time of how SCORPIA had ruined his life: killed his parents, tried to shoot him, almost killed Jack! Alex stormed out of the room, leaving his unit completely bewildered.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it," said Ben in a raspy voice, "I just can't believe Alex trained with SCORPIA..."<p>

Eagle had never been the sort to hate anyone, but now he was just overwhelmed. He couldn't believe over half the camp had been worshipping Alex Rider when he was, in fact, SCORPIA vermin!

"I hate that kid," growled the usually hyper man, " I can't believe all this time he's been acting innocent, but he's actually SCORPIA scum!"

Everyone's breath was taken away by the knowledge that Eagle could _ever _say something like that. He was always the soft one, telling the others not to hurt their enemies too much in interrogation! Wolf was quick too agree.

"Yeah. Let's exclude him from the group deliberately and make his life as miserable as possible. It's only what he deserves."

Both Ben and Wolf had nagging voices in the back of their heads that asked them how Alex could be working for SCORPIA when he had successfully completed missions for MI6. Wolf came to the conclusion that the kid was under deep cover, and the mountain had been a one-off, as it hadn't involved Cub's organisation. Ben, however, was slightly more confused. He and Alex had been working against SCORPIA... It was always possible that Ash's death had been faked- Kevlar vests and blood sachets were easy enough to get hold of... And all that stuff the 'dying' man had said about Alex's parents was made-up. Maybe the kid's parents were higher-ups in SCORPIA...

The Unit stood in silence, tense. Then Wolf gave some orders,

"We won't disturb the kid tonight. We'll just let him sleep. But the next day, we'll really start laying it on." Every person nodded in approval and left for the hut.

* * *

><p>It was the middle of the night and Alex Rider was having another of his nightmares. Luckily in this particular one, he wasn't saying anything, just watching in shocked silence.<p>

* * *

><p><em>He was standing in the middle of nowhere, watching the images flicker by. He couldn't run. He couldn't scream. Short videos of his encounters with SCORPIA flashed past, and other more abstract paintings of his imagination:<em>

_Trying to shoot Mrs. Jones. Being injected with the poison shell. Climbing onto the hot air balloon. Him landing. Nile falling. Grief displaying a twisted grin. Diving down the Bora Falls. Major Yu crumpling up. Ash's betrayal. Getting shot outside the Royal and General. Watching the video of the car blowing up... _On and on they went, in a completely random order. Then came the strange imaginings.

_Ash ripping up the photo of his parents. Looking in the mirror and seeing Grief dying. Himself reaching out to press the button and the car exploding again and again and again..._

* * *

><p>Alex woke up sweating and hyperventilating. It was 4:45. 15 minutes before they had to go to the mess hall. The others would probably be up in ten. Alex could almost feel himself going into shock at the notion of himself pressing the button... He drew out a long, shaky breath. A film of sweat covered his body, and the teenager figured he should take the opportunity to shower before the rest of the unit woke up. Then he had an idea and grinned maliciously...<p>

* * *

><p>Alex was out of the shower and dressed in four minutes. Normally K-Unit would be waking up to the alarm six minutes later... But not today. Anyway, a friendly joke was bound to keep them off his back, wasn't it? Alex lifted up the bucket of cold water, gave an evil chuckle, and began.<p>

Unceremoniously, the blonde proceeded to dump some freezing cold water onto the sleeping faces of K-Unit. Ben first, then Tiger, Wolf and Eagle. As they all sat up in their beds with shocked expressions, spluttering, Alex began to snigger,

"Wakey-wakey, little fairies!" Alex was laughing now, but not splitting his sides either, as the astonished but angry men all turned their heads to glare at him. Simultaneously. It was pretty freaky, actually. There was a sudden awkwardness in the room, which Alex tried to break, "Uh... Hi?" When he got no response, he slapped a hand to his head and said in mock-horror, "Oh God! I forgot Wolf's not a morning person!" Still none of them moved or even chuckled lightly. Finally losing his temper, Alex shouted, "Oh, come on! It's pretty freaky watching you guys all staring at me like mannequins! And you turned your heads to glare at me at exactly the same time!"

The men seemed to finally be broken out of their trance, as they shifted. As usual, Wolf was the one to roar first,

"CUB!" _Damn, that man needs his caffeine, _thought a wary Alex. Wolf continued ranting, "Why! The hell! Have you got us soaked through?"

"Uh... It's joke? I thought that would be obvious..." The spy's voice was dripping with annoyed sarcasm. Eagle cut in,

"You are a SCORPIA agent! We can't trust you! This could have been acid for all we knew!" Alex glared dangerously,

"I do NOT work for SCORPIA!" Then he ran off, yelling over his shoulder, "I'll be in the mess hall!"

* * *

><p>All the men glared at the doorway, while trying to dry off their faces.<p>

"Not only does he work for SCORPIA, but he's a liar," growled Tiger. Everyone else nodded in general consensus.

"I'm not sitting next to _him _in the mess hall," added a betrayed Fox.

"Too right," grumbled a caffeine-deprived Wolf, as everyone scrambled out of their beds, finally noticing that they only had two minutes to get ready instead of five. No showers today...

* * *

><p>A forlorn Cub picked at his food before wiggling it into his mouth. The Sergeant looked on worriedly, then watched as the kid's unit walked in, purposely ignoring him and sitting at a different table. Cub sighed. The Sarge was not normally a man to be soft, but he had read Cub's file, and if something was bothering him, it had to be big. Besides, he felt sorry for the boy, what with him having been deceived by SCORPIA and his Uncle dying. And his missions... They were incredible. No man should have to take those on, let alone a fourteen-year old- now fifteen- the Sergeant reminded himself. He made his way over to the solitary kid's table, and sat down next to him,<p>

"Why are your Unit avoiding you?" Asked the muscular man, ignoring the sight of K-Unit narrowing their eyes at him. Cub looked up surprised, and shrugged,

"Um...Uh... Cuz I threw water at them to wake them up. Cold water." The Sarge didn't believe that; no SAS soldier would get so worked up by that- They pulled jokes like that on eachother all the time."

"Cub, I know that's not true. They would probably just laugh. Tell me the truth." The fifteen-year old shifted a bit, and mumbled,

"Uh... uh, um, well... You see... um..."

"Look, Cub, you can tell me. I've read your file." The boy jerked around, alarm written on his face, so fast that K-Unit winced just to watch it,

"You _what?_ Asked the panicked spy, who was smart enough to shout quietly. _How is that even possible? _Wondered the Sergeant.

"C'mon Cub, spill." Alex sighed,

"Okay. They think I work for SCORPIA." Before the man could interrupt, Alex pressed on, "They saw how good I was at shooting, and how quickly I could assemble a gun."

"You did go to SCORPIA, though, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but you must know about Yassen and Rothman..." The Sergeant nodded,

"If I was in your place, I probably would've done the same," he admitted.

"Really?"

"Really. Now, I won't tell your Unit anything about you and SCORPIA, but I'll just tell them to lay off..."

"No! Don't! I'll look soft..."

"Fine. But if it ever gets too much to handle, just ask, alright? It's a horrible accusation you shouldn't have to deal with." Then the Sarge walked off and resumed scolding anyone who annoyed him.

Alex watched him go, and feeling slightly more confident, finished his Okay-ish cereal, then got up to put his plates away and exited the mess hall, aware of K-Unit's glowers on his back.

* * *

><p>Alex had just finished a quick one Kilometre sprint when K-Unit made their way out of the mess hall. Pretending not to see them, the spy jogged towards the obstacle course and was just about to start when the others caught up to him,<p>

"Hey, Cub!" Yelled Wolf. Alex sighed inwardly and wiped all traces of fatigue off his face. He was totally sick of them treating him like some kind of SCORPIA dirt. The teenager turned around,

"Yeah?"

"What was the Sarge talking to you about, _traitor?" _Snarled Wolf, causing Alex to flinch.

"Why we were sitting at different tables."

"And what did you say?" Asked Tiger.

"Nothing," said Alex, who was now quite interested in the ground. _I can't believe they don't trust me. They don't understand how much SCORPIA has hurt me, but I'm not just going to blab my heart out to people who can turn on me so easily. Trust has to be earned._

"Yeah, right," snorted Ben, and this time Alex couldn't keep a brief spark of hurt out of his eyes, which instantly startled the rest of the Unit. _I thought Ben trusted me... _Eagle was kind of concerned by now. He'd never seen a kid look so betrayed.

"Cub?"

"Just leave me alone," replied an impassive Alex, as he turned back to the obstacle course.

* * *

><p><strong>I was thinking of ending on a major cliffie, but luckily I'm a humane person. REVIEW! Please. So... I was thinking that when the school gang turns up, Alex gets captured by none other than... SCORPIA! See ya.<strong>


	5. Nightmares

**REVIEW! Now let's see what's gonna happen... Thanks to everyone who had the heart and humanity to review! Btw, you can get smileys on Microsoft Word 07 by going: colon, '0' bracket: :), or: colon, '9' bracket: :( ! On Word they tranform into actual pictures!**

**I disclaim the Amazing... ALEX RIDER! (And any other minor things you recognise.)**

* * *

><p>The rest of the day had passed without incidents other than Alex being considered a tag-along and K-Unit shooting glares at him behind the backs of L- and X-Unit; these units were less experienced than K-Unit, and so K-Unit had been told to 'tutor' them and give them one-on-one training. It was hard to spread the attention between everyone, as there was <em>no way <em>any of the men from the L- and X-Units would listen to Alex. Even if they had, K-Unit wouldn't have let him anywhere near them either.

The bullying started again when Alex trailed behind the others into their hut.

* * *

><p>As soon as Alex entered the hut and started making his way over to his bunk, Wolf darted behind him and pulled his arms back while Eagle dragged a bed over to the door, blocking it. Tiger went round shutting and locking the windows, while Ben just stood there awkwardly. When Eagle and Tiger had finished securing the hut, Wolf released Alex.<p>

"What the hell, Wolf?"

"Cub, I think you've forgotten that we _really _don't take kindly to SCORPIA agents."

"But I don't-" Alex's protest was cut off by Tiger twisting his arm up his back so tightly that he had to stop mid-sentence to stop any looks of pained surprise from showing on his face, preferring to glare rebelliously at the small semicircle in front of him formed by Fox, Wolf, and Eagle. _How could you let me down like this, Ben?_

Wolf stepped forward and laughed in Alex's face, who immediately winced away and retorted,

"God, Wolf, you ever heard of breath mints?" The person in question growled in reply, stepped away, and addressed the SAS men,

"So... What shall we do with little _Cubby _here?" Eagle immediately seized the chance to pipe up with a delusional idea, courtesy of the hot chocolate he had had in the morning. They had all known it would be a terrible idea to give him chocolate, whipped cream, _and_ marshmallows...

"I know! I know! We can tie him to the door of the Sarge's hut in his underpants! You know, 'coz it's in the middle of the compound!" For a brief while, the remainder of K-Unit and Alex were united against Eagle, all gaping at him in disbelief. After the somewhat creepy silence, Wolf continued,

"Anyone got any ideas that are at least remotely sane?"

"Um, yeah..." Started an uncertain Ben, "We can make Cub eat some salami before he goes to sleep."

_Ben, why? Why you, Ben? I trusted you. You'll make the nightmares start again..._

"Eat salami?" Yelled Tiger, "What the damn hell, Fox?"

"It gives him terrible nightmares," Fox clarified. Eagle nodded in what he thought to be a scholarly way,

"You mean like how cheese gives you dreams that the camp is submerged and we're all mermaids?" Wolf choked, but the naïve man kept going, "First I see Wolf, who is yelling at me in soprano and he has a pink tail and long black hair and the most massive pair of boo-"

"Eagle! Shut the F up!" Cried the leader in a strangled voice. Alex snickered.

"Oh, Eagle, darling, I'm over he-ere!" He sang in as high a voice he possibly could, while batting his eyes annoyingly. Wolf immediately roared viciously at the teen, obviously refraining himself from punching a minor, even if that minor happened to be with SCORPIA. Alex blinked in surprise. _Whoa, that was some roar... _Ben then suddenly sighed,

"Right, guys, how're we gonna do this?" He asked, at the same time pulling up some floorboards and searching through K-Unit's secret food stash.

"Pinch his nose. So he can't breathe and has to open his mouth," stated Tiger simply, as Fox's arms resurfaced with a small fridge. Alex was slightly taken aback to see that it was pink, and grinned slightly when he saw the Barbie sticker on its side. However, before he could make a scathing comment, Eagle explained,

"I, um, _borrowed _it from my five-year old niece."... "What? She was hiding chocolate in it and my sis was getting cross with her!" Wolf snorted.

"If the kid's anything like you, I can see why." Eagle immediately moved to punch the Unit leader, but was distracted by a cry of,

"I got it!" Ben was brandishing a packet of Tesco's Salami in the air. _Damn Tesco to hell, _grumbled Alex inwardly, as Eagle let his suspended fist drop to his side.

"Gimme some!" Yapped an excited Eagle. _Sadist, _thought Alex, slightly tensed to pull himself out of Tiger's grip, _I'll probably have the worst nightmares I've had in years and I'll also probably start screaming in the night. _The teenager had to stop himself from blushing at the embarrassing notion of K-Unit seeing him terrified, even if he was only gonna be asleep... _B-but, I probably won't scream... No! I'm not gonna scream, simple as that. In fact, I won't even get nightmares, _he reassured himself.

* * *

><p>Wolf, Tiger, and Eagle were now waving pieces of salami around, Tiger having swapped places with Fox; Tiger was just inhumane, and Ben probably felt kind of uncomfortable with stuffing salami down a kid's throat. Alex began to struggle and thrash around, but it was no use, as Ben had an iron grip on his right arm, which was pulled up so high it was almost between his shoulder blades.<p>

A gleeful Wolf stepped forward and pinched Alex's nose, and then the others (excluding Fox, obviously) proceeded to try and stuff salami down his throat. The spy gagged; he was running out of oxygen, and as soon as he opened his mouth, there would be no hope. Then Fox jerked his arm up higher, causing the boy to gasp. Which inevitably ended up with a blonde-haired teenager having about five pieces of salami stuffed into his mouth. He tried to spit them out, but Wolf rested his hand warningly on a painful pressure point in the shoulder.

Thinking of how much it would hurt if the SAS man were to pinch that nerve, Alex had no hesitation in gulping down the salami. Then mentally kicked himself. To just dive into painful unconsciousness would be better than the nightmares he would face tonight.

The tanned spy that Alex used to have a small degree of trust in released the boy, who immediately made a beeline for the toilets... He hated the idea of people making themselves throw up, but it wasn't like he was doing this because he was bulimic- He just didn't want to get another horrible nightmare that consisted of his last mission...

Unfortunately, Tiger noticed this and stepped in front of the door.

"No, no, little Cubby," he reprimanded, shaking his head, "We're not _that_ stupid. Please don't insult our intelligence."

"Not like you _have _any _to _insult," shot back the glaring teen.

"Hey!" Protested Eagle childishly, "I'm pretty smart, you know!" Wolf couldn't help but snigger at Eagle's outrageous claim. "What are you laughing at?"

"Eagle... Jenkins," sighed Ben, "Is an unfortunate soul. For he has been feeding himself ideas that he is intelligent. In fact, his IQ barely exceeds that of a goldfish..."

"Meanie! And... Jenkins? What sort of a surname is that!"

"You know we can't use our real names in camp, Eagle...?" Enquired Tiger.

"I know! But... Jenkins! I want a cool name! Like... Muscle! Yeah! I can be Mr. Muscle!" And so, with a flourish of the arm, 'Mr. Muscle', aka Eagle, launched into an advert for drain cleaner, while everyone else looked on with a mixture of shock and amusement.

* * *

><p>It was 12:30 AM in the morning, and Alex Rider was having his most vicious nightmare yet.<p>

_He was back in Skeleton Key, lying on the conveyor belt leading to the crusher. He also had an assortment of wires attached to his body, and every villain he'd ever come against was standing around him. All with the marks of their deaths on their bodies. Dr. Grief was covered all over in hideous burn marks, Damian Cray's limbs consisted of red vapour, Kaspar had an orb of blood revolving around his head, Myra Benett was ripped to bloody shreds... And that was only to name a few._

_Then the belt started moving. The faces of the people surrounding him twisted into contorted smiles brimming with malice. Alex started hyperventilating. Razim walked up to him and held out a button. If Alex pressed that button, he would save himself... But jack would die. She was sitting in a car, sobbing, bound in place by ropes knotted tightly, screaming in hysterics. The crusher drew nearer. He could feel the wind on his feet. He started to scream, and lashed out wildly at the button. Then the car exploded, and reflected in one of the flying shards of glass, was his face. Which had a red dot between his eyes. Alex shrieked even louder, and felt tears drip down his cheeks..._

* * *

><p>K-Unit woke up to the noise of the legs of a metal bunk clanging on the floor. As they snapped their heads up, alert, their gaze fell on the youngest member of the K-Unit. Cub. Wolf clambered down from the top bunk of the bed he shared with Alex to see the spectacle. All of K-Unit were watching the alleged SCORPIA member thrash around, they shared a moment of pride,<p>

"We made the enemy agent crack," whispered Tiger, pleased. The rest nodded in agreement.

Then the boy started to thrash round even more violently, his face in an expression of extreme pain. Then he started to scream. At this reaction, Wolf raised an eyebrow,

"Wow. That must've been a pretty damn bad dream to make a trained SCORPIA agent scream like a girl." Then Alex jerked upright in his bed, hyperventilating and sobbing quietly. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head in the thin duvet. Then he looked up, and saw K-Unit staring at him,

"What do you want?" The words were venom, but Eagle seemed unruffled.

"Just to watch a top SCORPIA agent scream and then start crying!" Chuckled the hyper man. Alex blushed. Then he reached under his pillow and dug out a torch, switching it on. _I have to know if Jack's Okay... _Then he dug around in his bag and retrieved his iPhone 4S- Fingerprint and DNA sensitive. With a passcode needed. As the screen of the mobile lit up, Alex turned off and dumped his torch under the pillow.

"What you doing, Cub?" snarled Wolf dangerously, as the spy tapped on Jack's number.

"Calling someone. What does it look like?" And before anyone could answer back, or make a move to toss the phone out of his hand, he hit the 'call' button.

"Hello?" Mumbled a sleepy voice at the other end of the phone.

"Jack?" Once the redhead realised who it was, she shouted, which resulted in Alex having to hold the phone a mile from his ear.

"ALEXANDER JOHNATHAN RIDER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING CALLING AT 2AM?" K-Unit jumped violently at the roaring and cursed the existence of mobile phones.

"J-Jack. Calm down. And it's actually not even 1AM yet..."

"Whatever, you know what I mean, idiot," she replied, causing Alex to smile. "Anyway, why are you calling? Have you been kidnapped again or something?"

"No."

"Let me hear you say it." Horribly aware of K-Unit listening in, Alex sighed.

"No, Jack, I have not been kidnapped or anything else." Then on an evil impulse, he added, "I am in hell on Earth, more commonly known as Brecon Beacons SAS camp, and unfortunately stuffed in a hut with four very fat and childish SAS men."

Jack laughed as four death glares were sent Alex's way, although he noted that Tiger's was pretty weak and undeveloped.

"Poor you! But why did you call?" Feeling incredibly self-conscious now, Alex turned away to the door, and in a lower voice, muttered,

"I had a nightmare. I just wanted to make sure you were Okay."

"Aww, was it the one about Razim? I'm alright sweetie, the doctor even took my cast off today!"

"Really?"

"Yeah." Then there was a pause, before Jack started awkwardly, "Hey, Alex, would it be Okay with you if I went to see my family in America for a while? You, see, there's gonna be this big reuniuon..."

"Sure, Jack. You should go. I'm at SAS camp for ages anyway. It's only Tuesday of the first week- Well, very early on Wednesday..."

"It's just... I was wondering if you'd like to come?"

"Nah, it's fine, Jack. Anyway, I'm kinda claustrophobic in big crowds... And you know how danger always follows me around..."

"Yeah!" Laughed the American, "I can just see you chatting to my sister, and the next minute the CIA contacts you, and you're just like, '_Sorry, I gotta go save the whole of Washington D.C blowing up- Again_.'" Then they both burst into fits of hilarity. A fond smile playing on his lips, Alex corrected his plucky housekeeper,

"You mean I'd probably say I had to go puke 'cuz of a fever or something and then dash off to the bomb site or something?"

"Well, yeah."

"'Kay. Talk to you later Jack!"

"Later! Love you!"

"Love you too! Bye!" Then Alex, somewhat reluctantly, pressed the end call button, and turned round to retreat back to his bed. Then...

Damn. He had forgotten about K-Unit halfway through the conversation.

"What was that about a bomb site?" Asked Fox with a calculating cold in his voice.

* * *

><p>Oh no. K-Unit had grossly misinterpreted what Alex had meant when he'd said '<em>You mean I'd probably say I had to go puke 'cuz of a fever or something and then dash off to the bomb site or something?'.<em>

"Oh. Oh. Th-that... Listen guys, it's really not what it sounds like-"

"Save the crap, Kid," snapped Fox. _How could Alex become a terrorist? It's not fair... We were mates who understood what we each were going through... But not anymore._

Alex couldn't believe it. Even _Ben _was flipping out at him. None of the Unit trusted him anymore- They all thought that he was a SCORPIA assassin, and that was only on an impulse. God, even being called Double 0 Nothing would have been better...

"Yeah, Cub," Wolf sneered, "Are you and whoever this Jack person is really so sick that you'd set off a bomb in the middle of a huge crowd?"

"N-no. You misunderstood what I meant-"

"Just go to bed, Cub."

* * *

><p>Unbearable coldness engulfing his face was what a certain blonde woke up to the next morning.<p>

"Wha-Wha-Wha?" He puffed, shivering.

"I dumped a nice big bucket of rainwater over your head. Also, looks like you'll be missing breakfast!" Sang Eagle, towering over Alex with a black bucket in his hand. Then the Unit, talking and laughing, strode off to the mess hall, leaving Alex on his own, who immediately jumped into action. _How unimaginative. I used that trick first!_

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, the spy had had a warm shower and gotten dressed in his uniform. He'd also managed to root round in his bag and find a warm hat, since his hair was wet and rapidly getting colder. There was also a small layer of frost on some areas of the ground. He stepped out of the hut, and was about to run to the mess hall, only to be greeted with the sight of the Sergeant walking towards him,<p>

"CUB!"

"Yes sir?" Responded the teen, then stood to attention.

"At ease soldier." Alex relaxed with a small sigh.

"Why aren't you in the mess hall?"

"Uh... I slept through the alarm."

"Are K-Unit treating you alright?"

"Y-yeah..."

"'Cuz I think they probably woke up and turned the alarm off so that you would be late." Alex shrugged.

"Whatever."

"Anyway, Cub, I've just gotten a list of all the students and teachers comi-"

"Oh damn! My homework!" Alex had only just remembered that he had some schoolwork accessible through an internet connection to his school log-on system and emails. But right now he had to worry about the Sarge looking very put out.

"CUB! YOU DO NOT INTERRUPT ME WHEN I AM SPEAKING! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!"

"Yes sir!"

"Anyway, what about homework?"

"Uh... Well there's like this school email I have, and the teachers said they'd send me some work to do over it."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to. I'm kinda behind at school after... Everything." The Sergeant nodded.

"You can use my office. There's a computer in there. I'll be training R-Unit all day anyway." Then the muscular man turned on his heel and jogged away. Alex could even hear him in the distance,

"R-UNIT! ATTENTION! GOOD! NOW I WANT YOU TO RUN THE 5K TRACK! NO ARGUING!"

* * *

><p>Alex was sitting at the Sage's desk, laptop switched on. He rooted in the small bag he'd brought for pencils and paper in case they were needed, and he caught sight of his file, along with the mysterious DVD that he'd seen next to it. <em>No, <em>he reprimanded himself, _schoolwork first. The file and DVD are motivators to get it done._

* * *

><p>Six and a half hours had passed, and Alex had managed to do most of the work for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. He was just stuck on a geography essay, along with some complex Biology that he'd never done before, and he didn't have the proper materials to do his art piece with. However, he'd sent pieces of work back to the teachers for countless subjects: A French essay about his family- which had an overload of the word <em><strong>'dead'<strong>_ in it, and of course he'd had to lie about Yassen again. There had been English worksheets about easy stuff, like similes, metaphors, personification, onomatopoeia... Yeah. Just... Simple. He'd also made a fact sheet about Beethoven, done some stuff on the history of spying- Damn, just his luck- a lot of maths...

And now it was 12:00. Time for lunch. He was starving; he had missed breakfast and done almost 3 days of schoolwork in half a day! The muscles in Alex's legs had all tightened up while he'd been sitting down, so he stretched them out slightly and started to jog slowly, accelerating as he warmed up, darting past various units.

Then Alex caught sight of the Sergeant standing at the doors leading into the mess hall, and strode towards him.

"Cub. How much did you get done?"

"Almost 3 day's worth, Sir. But I'm stuck on Geography and have no materials for art... There's also some Biology that I've never done before, but the teacher hasn't bothered to send an explanation with it."

"I'm good at Geography. But the Biology..." The Sarge trailed off, shaking his head. "I'll ask around for people good at Biology or who might have art supplies. I won't _force_ them to teach you or give you stuff, though..."

"Good. Thanks, Sarge." With a curt nod, Alex turned into the mess hall.

* * *

><p>Wow. The food, for once, was not muck. It was fish fingers and potato wedges! <em>That's good... I hate fries; they're so horrible and hard. Potato wedges actually contain potato. <em>He looked around for a table. The only available one also had Eagle and Fox sitting at it. Tiger and Wolf were talking to some guys from a different unit.

Unwillingly, Alex sauntered over to the remaining table and sat himself down in the chair furthest away from Eagle and Fox.

"Hey, where you been, _Scorpion?" _Snarled Eagle, uncharacteristically fierce.

"Doing homework. The Geographyis damn hard. Anyway, what's the occasion?"

"Whaddya mean?" Asked a bemused Ben.

"We're eating something _edible_ for once?" 'Hinted' Alex, stuffing a wedge in his mouth.

"Oh!" Eagle visibly brightened, "we've got a new chef! A good one!" He explained, while trying to steal the last of Alex's fish fingers. "Ow!" He yelled, as the teen karate-chopped his hand, and proceeded to promptly swallow down the fish finger the SAS man had tried to, rather stupidly, steal.

The rest of the meal consisted of Fox trying to make intelligent conversation with Eagle, while Alex and Eagle were both guarding their plates while glaring at eachother as they gulped down their chips.

Eagle ended up having a coughing fit halfway through.

* * *

><p><strong>Eagle so deserved that!<br>****Hope you enjoyed it! Please review, everyone... I know there are a lot more of you out there! Look, guys, I know it's hard to update- I get that feeling of laziness myself. But I LOVE reviews! They make me really happy! (Soppy, I know...) But anyway, I just REALLY want to get, like a hundred reviews! A lot to ask, I know, but... I'm just SOOO jealous of all the people with 100! Also, please read 'Everything I Lost' and give me some ideas on what to do next!**


	6. Baumgartel's Bank Bananas

**I Disclaim Alex Rider. I'd never be able to think up such an awesome character... Anyways... We shall see what happens this cold Wednesday in Brecon Beacons! REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE NEXT CHAPTER ALIVE!**

* * *

><p>Alex was currently struggling through Geography, the Sarge by his side. The man had given up some of his free time to help the schoolboy-( Well, you couldn't exactly call Alex a <em>schoolboy<em>, considering his...hobby.) complete his coursework and construct some complicated graphs. Surprisingly, the man who was normally fierce and loud was a good, patient teacher who would explain things slowly and clearly one hundred times over if you still didn't understand something.

By the time Alex's work was done, he had everything drilled into him so hard that he was sure he would never forget it; in fact, if he became amnesiac, he was sure that he would at least remember this small part of his geography curriculum.

When they were done, Alex let out a small sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Sarge. I could never have done that by myself. You make a pretty good teacher, you know...?"

"Nah, it's fine Cub. And do _not _mention me being a good teacher _ever _again! A classroom full of snotty-nosed, insolent PUNKS!"

"You'll be faced with them next week, though!"

"AAARRGGH!" Roared the Sergeant suddenly, "I NEED TO GO YELL AT SOME SOLDIERS AND WORK IT OUTTA MY SYSTEM!" The frantic man rushed out of his hut in search of victims and Alex heard him find his targets.

"BUFFALO! ABOUT TIME YOU CAME WITH THE DAMNED BIOLOGY SHEETS! AND LEOPARD! HOW BLOODY LONG DOES IT TAKE TO SCOOP UP A COUPLA PAINTS?" Alex tuned out as the man continued to rant and started planning out what he would do for his art piece that was meant to be based on Banksy and Baumgärtel, graffiti artists who he saw as totally wicked. Banksy had these cool little rats wearing parachutes and everything... Baumgärtel, however, did bananas on buildings: Normal bananas for companies he liked, exploding bananas for the ones he didn't. _Maybe I could do some exploding bananas on the R&G... _

Alex was so absorbed in sketching out his ideas onto a piece of scrap paper with his favourite 3B pencil that he didn't notice the two big SAS men come in the door. Unfortunately for Alex, they noticed this, so Buffalo glanced at Leopard and silently raised a finger to his lips. _Shhh. _Then the man snuck round behind Alex extremely quietly. Sadly, Alex had now noticed the burly guy, but used his spy skills and pretended not to show it. He felt Buffalo move behind him, poised to yell and frighten the spy out of his wits, but Alex acted quickly. His 3B pencil also concealed a party popper, just a fun invention by Smithers.

Alex quickly jumped around and pressed the rubber really hard. Instantly, coloured strings emptied out of the pencil's lead with a large bang, causing Buffalo to yell and stumble back in amazement, while Leopard and Cub went into hysterics. _The look on his face! _Thought Alex, _I could pull that prank on K-Unit too!_

* * *

><p>Leopard's fits of laughter had finally subsided soon after Buffalo had eventually decided to stop pouting like a baby at the annoyance of having been tricked by a fifteen-year old boy. <em>But also one of the world's best spies, <em>mused Alex.

"Kid, that was amazing," announced Leopard, his voice at last not shaking from amusement. "Who'd you get the pencil from? Smithers?" Leopard and Buffalo exchanged glances which said _obviously not. _

"Yeah, actually," replied Alex indignantly, before realizing how childish he sounded. Not that it mattered anyway; these men were beyond immature. Leopard's eyebrows shot up in sheer disbelief.

"Really?"

"Yeah." _Should I tell them...? _Alex sighed. "Look, guys, can you keep a secret?" The two men nodded in a unison that was almost freaky. "Even if it's a really really big secret you would be dying to blurt out?"

"Sure, Cub," said an upbeat Buffalo, "I've been training here for five years and still haven't told anyone outside of the compound!"

Alex took a deep breath, and steeled himself.

"Alright. I am Alex Rider."

* * *

><p>The silence in the room was static. Alex could already see questions forming in their heads. <em>What? How? <em>Leopard was the first one to take a hold on himself once again.

"Why did you tell us?" Buffalo's eyes showed interested agreement, so Alex sighed and admitted,

"Well, I guess I sort of need someone to trust right now... K-Unit kinda got the wrong idea about... Something."

"'Kay," said Buffalo uncertainly, making the awkwardness even more intense. Alex squirmed.

"Uh... So... The Sarge said you were getting some stuff...?"

"Oh yeah!" Yapped Buffalo, awareness turned back to the sheets he clutched possessively with both hands, "These _are _the right kind of Biology sheets, aren't they?" Alex checked them over and nodded, as Leopard dumped some art material onto the desk:

There was a canvas slightly bigger than an A4 piece of paper, some paintbrushes, paints-acrylic _That dries quickly, _noted Alex mentally- and a few sheets of coloured card along with a bunch of black permanent markers.

"Thanks, guys. ... Why have you got this stuff in an SAS camp anyway?" Leopard shrugged.

"I like painting and stuff. It calms me down." Buffalo quickly followed, but shifting slightly.

"I have a kid who finds Science stuff pretty hard, so I revise this stuff and help her when I get the chance. I was always more athletic than academic when I was in school." Alex nodded in acceptance.

"Can I meet up with you guys at dinner? I mean..." He gestured at a long list of emails on the computer, and burst into laughter as both men's eyes promptly popped out in amazement.

"Whoa, you got some workload, kid..." Gasped Buffalo. Alex looked at them as if they were both slightly crazy.

"Um... This is standard...? It just looks like a lot 'cuz I've been emailed all the work for my school week. I pity the teachers who don't plan much in advance... Suddenly having to pull something out of the hat!"

"You're a teacher-torturer, Cub!" Yelled Leopard as he and Buffalo exited.

Alex looked at the clock. 1:05PM Then his head randomly commented, _On the whitewashed wall hung a depressed clock- Well of course it's on the wall! _He shouted back at himself. _Where else would it be? Stuck to my head!_

Then he sighed and tried to shake off the insanity before he had to go and have dinner at 7:00. 5 hours and 55 minutes to go.

* * *

><p>At Brooklands, Tom was in history class, more hyped up than ever before. They were going to learn about the history of spying! It was so exciting and an MI6 agent was coming in to talk to them! It would be awesome! The whole class was chattering madly in excitement, then fell silent:<p>

The man walked in and Tom forgot to breathe. _No, no. It can't be. It 's impossible? But Could it really be him? Could it really be_...

"Ian?"

* * *

><p>The man stared at Tom, who began to think he had made a mistake. This man had curly brown hair and green eyes, but even under all the disguise, Tom could sense Ian was there. The man stood stock still for a moment, then sighed and conceded defeat.<p>

He pulled off a wig and took out contacts, and when he spoke next, it was softly.

"How did you know it was me?" Tom was too absorbed in his shock to reply, but was broken out of his trance when some kid shouted across the room.

"Ian Rider! You know Alex took drugs 'cuz he thought you were dead!" A wave of anger surged through Tom's veins.

"No he didn't!" The usually calm boy leapt up and roared, astonishing everyone, "His immune system went down and he! Was! SICK! And you know how his long-lost brother Yassen died when in action for MI6! At school! And guess what else? Alex didn't even know Yassen was a spy!" Tom had added in the extra details at the end to tip Ian off. The spy certainly played his part.

"Y-Y-Yassen? Yassen's dead?" Ian stuttered, looking at the ground. Then his demeanour suddenly changed. He looked up, torn between worried and angry. "Tom Harris, you are going to come with me and tell me everything that has happened while I was away!" Then the supposed-to-be-dead spy hauled the unsuspecting teenager away by the wrist. _Hey, what if he's zombie Ian? _Pondered Tom weirdly.

* * *

><p><em>Ugh. <em>Alex locked his fingers and stretched his arms in front of him, yawning. He'd just finished the week's work in a _day_. He'd done his Biology quickly with the help of the sheets, and his Graffiti Art piece was looking great. He'd had a background of a wall of the R&G in acrylic (Though only he knew that. Anyone else would think it was a random wall.) and then added exploding bananas, all in different styles; acrylic, card, multicoloured... Then he'd created a 'parachuting rat' stencil, and applied them to a black card border on the left of the piece with blue acrylic.

Then there had been Thursday and Friday's work, as well as the excess weekend homework. He'd done some Maths that Mr. Grey had tutored him in- and that had been absurdly long ago! A Spanish grammar worksheet that Alex could easily have done at the age of even eight, a DT worksheet on how to use the Hegner (Some sort of electronic saw thingy...) some R.E work that focused on _feelings. _Come on! Didn't the world have bigger worries than some brat crying 'cuz their lollipop got stolen? He should know...

Alex glanced at the clock. 6:50PM. He had 10 minutes to get to the mess hall. As for his file and the DVD, training went on for a further 2 hours after dinner break- which was an hour. Alex could just say he had more homework he needed to polish off before he decided to turn in at 10:00.

Wanting to grab a table with Buffalo and Leopard, Alex set off at a sprint.

* * *

><p>Tom heard the door slam behind him as he and Ian left the classroom.<p>

"Right, Tom. Now I'll have to get that whole class an OSA 'cause of that!" The spy closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down.

"Tom, who is Yassen? Why was he shot?" Ian couldn't believe that Alex had a long-lost brother. It was a horrible coincidence the guy had been named after an assassin who had shot him... His recovery had been long and painful. Tom seemed taken aback.

"You really don't know?"

"No!"

"Well... It was Yassen Gregorovich, of course!" Ian stared at his nephew's best friend.

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?" Tom bit his lip and glanced around.

"We shouldn't talk about this here. And also, you should probably get the whole school to sign the Official Secrets Act. They'll wonder why Alex Rider's dead Uncle has turned up all of a sudden." Ian internally winced at the title 'Uncle'. The man gritted his teeth and nodded. He had a horrible sinking feeling creeping up his spine about this whole... ordeal.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Speaking of Alex, where is he?"

"Well, the school is going to Brecon Beacons SAS camp next week, but Alex got a suspension so he's there early." This shocked Ian. Alex- _suspended? _Alex had always displayed exemplary behaviour at school before. Maybe that kid in the classroom was right. Maybe he really _had _sent Alex off the rails...

"Ian? Ian? Ian!"

"Yeah? Yeah?" Ian was zapped back to earth by Tom shouting in his ear. The boy was staring at him.

"Hello?" Ian sighed. He had been miles away back there. Hastily, fighting back a sense of embarrassment, he went back into business mode.

"Um, yeah. So, I'd better call MI6 and tell them to come over with the papers... You'd better go back to class, and, um, just wait for an assembly or something..."

* * *

><p>"Hey Cub, over here!" Buffalo was yelling at Alex, who was gripping a tray of <em>edible <em>Spag Bol. The young agent quickly scanned the mess hall until he caught sight of his two new friends - Wait, _friends? _That just sounded soppy and implied that they were close. No. What about... Accomplices? Yeah, accomplices. It sounded badass. Anyway, whatever Buffalo and Leopard were, they were gesturing wildly for Alex to join them at a table. As he made his way towards the duo, Alex could feel K-Unit's stares driving into his back. He quickened his pace and sat down.

"What's up with them?" Leopard was muttering to Buffalo as Alex sat down, jerking his head towards K-Unit.

"Oh, they just assumed I was evil and probably- no, definitely- think that you're insane for hanging out with me."

"But come on, Cub, you're the famous teenage superspy!" Gasped Buffalo, who received a shrug in return.

"Whatever. They jumped to a conclusion," said Alex while trying to shovel spaghetti in his mouth.

"Eww, Cub, gross," whinged Leopard, referring to Alex's eating habits, who simply grunted disinterestedly.

"Since when did you become 'Manners Patrol' anyway?" Then Buffalo turned to Alex. "Tell us 'bout some of your adventures, Cub!"

"Yeah, Cub. What was the jellyfish like?" Alex stopped eating and shuddered.

"Physalia Physalis. The Portuguese Man o' War. It's 99% water, has no brains and no anus."

"No way! That one's a real nasty!"

"I guess..." Replied the teen, who was now picking at his food, no matter just how edible it was.

"How did you survive?"

"Smithers' 'Zit Cream'. It becomes corrosive on contact with metal. It'll burn up to eight inches through carbonised steel." Buffalo gave a low whistle. "I used it to destroy the tank. The person watching the whole thing unfold wasn't so lucky..." This earned a very noticeable wince from Leopard.

"All those sting-y things..."

"Yeah..." Alex sighed, "I gotta go, guys. I really don't wanna talk about it right now." Buffalo gave him a sympathetic look.

"Hey, aren't you even finishing your food?"

"Nah. You have it. Or give it to Leopard. Or Eagle- Though he'll probably think it's poisoned. See ya."

Alex trudged off towards the Sarge's hut, almost dreading reading his file and seeing what was on the DVD...

* * *

><p>Alan Blunt once again found himself standing in front of Brookland School, except this time there was no Mrs. Jones, but Ian Rider instead. He sighed inwardly. He had thought that Rider's identity would be perfectly safe; after all, he even had a wig and contacts! MI6 issue as well! But the friend of Alex Rider... Tom Harris, yes, that was it, had still managed to recognise him.<p>

Blunt had sent Ian off on a sudden assignment with SCORPIA, claiming the mission to be extremely hard. It wasn't; just a routine scan. However, he needed to get the man away so that Alex Rider wouldn't find out that his Uncle was alive; he needed to persuade the school not to tell the young spy without Ian knowing. He really didn't need a teenage boy trashing his office right now. Or a grown man, for that matter.

He stepped up and cleared his throat.

"Right, children. If you were in the Year 11 fourth period History class with Mr. Shermann, you will know that we sent in an agent to talk about the history of spying. That agent was Ian Rider," Blunt ignored the shocked gasps and disbelieving looks traded across the hall. "Uncle of Alex Rider, allegedly killed in a car crash. He was actually shot, but managed to survive. It is crucial that no-one knows that he is alive. One leak could be his death. Could I also ask you not to inform Mr. Rider, as if he has not signed the Official Secrets Act. Furthermore, if you break the contract, you could be put to Court and quite possibly... Shot."

"We are moving the departure to Brecon Beacons to tomorrow morning, rather than next week. Even if you do not want to come, you will. If you do not, you could quite possibly be targeted and killed by international criminal organisations; maybe even tortured."

One boy timidly raised a hand.

"Yes?"

"What will we tell our parents? We've signed the Act, so..."

"The office will circulate a letter claiming that there have been gang troubles all around Chelsea, and Brookland have been lucky enough to accepted by the SAS. It will also clarify that even if they want to send you to a different school, you may still be in danger of being mugged or the like without proper self-defence. Simple karate is not enough against knives."

"Does anyone have anymore concerns?" Mr. Blunt gazed around the hall, but no-one put a hand up or started to talk. "Then that will be all. Thank you."

* * *

><p>As soon as the frosty man stalked out of the hall, everyone became alive with excitement. People were boasting that they would take the place by storm and be even better than the SAS men. <em>Yeah, right, <em>scoffed Tom silently. Well, he wouldn't be so naïve and stupid. Then he heard Karpfish plotting:

"... once we get that SAS training, we'll be able to bring down Rider and his little drug circle..." Tom smirked, and had to refrain from chuckling, or worse, giggling. _Bring down one of the best secret agents in the world? Dream on, Stinky-Carp. _Stinky-Carp was Tom's new name for Ryan Karpfish. Unfortunately, 'Stinky-Carp' saw Tom's smirk.

"What's so funny, Harris?" Tom raised his eyebrows (He couldn't do just one, like Alex, which was pretty annoying. Girls loved it.)

"You. Beat up. Alex. Rider.?"

"Yeah! I will! He can't take down ten of us at once!" _He can take down ten grown men at a time._

"First, he's been at the camp longer than you, so he gets one-on-one training. Also, he's a second Dan. Furthermore, if you beat up the nephew of a secret agent, there'll be hell to pay!"

"I'm not scared of anyone," protested 'Stinky-Carp', but his tone faltered slightly halfway through. _Even a resurrected Conrad?_

"Whatever."

* * *

><p><em>Alexander Johnathan Rider was recruited into MI6 after his uncle Ian Rider died and...<em>

Alex ignored that part; he already knew it, and continued to flick through the file. There was nothing particularly interesting; just recounts of his missions, physical health assessments, age, name, date of birth...

Wait. What was this? Alex tugged out a piece of paper, along with a cluster of photographs. It was a list of all the 'major' people he knew: Jack, Sabina, Ed, Liz, Tom, Jerry... He couldn't believe MI6 had been spying on his friends! Then, looking further down the list, he saw the names of some other people, Ryan Karpfish included. It seemed that MI6 thought that the drug rumours could be a problem.

It wasn't fair! They were looking into his personal life! With his social life and school life, he was furious, but Sabina? His _love life? _That was crossing the line by about 10 Kilometres!

Then he inspected the photos. Pictures of him with Tom and Jerry as they worked out how to infiltrate Consanto, him with Sab and her family in Scotland, on a rare day when they decided to brave the cold. Him and Jack walking into Pizza Express. Him dodging Ryan's punches and then following Mr Bray... Then he choked and started coughing when he saw the next photo. It was when Sabina had kissed him on the cheek when Jack and her parents hadn't been looking. Dammit. Alex growled and shoved the stuff back into the file.

Hopefully the DVD would be more interesting...

* * *

><p>It turned out that the DVD was a little <em>too <em>interesting.

To Alex's horror, the disc started off by showing him being chased by the men on motorbikes in Cornwall, trying to chop him up with cheesewire. He got a horrible knotting feeling in the pit of his stomach. It went on to show his escape from the jellyfish tank and his heroic escape. When it showed him doing his parachute jump into the science museum he gritted his teeth, and then groaned as he shot the PM. Only his finger, but still..! MI6 must have gotten all this stuff from hidden cameras or spy satellites.

From there, it only got worse.

He watched himself dump a barge on the Police Station, and it looked worse than he'd remembered it. Then there was his close encounter with Fiona's friends and the close call with the train. Alex glared at the screen as he watched himself receive blows from Mrs Stellenbosch, though he prided himself on his composure so early into the spy world. The conversation with Grief was subtitled. His heart started beating so fast he was sure everyone could hear it as he watched the escape on the ironing board, then gasped as he watched, wincing, himself fall and catch his head on the barbed wire. Then he went back into the damn place again! A wave of guilt washed over him as he saw Wolf take bullets for him, and had to look away from the explosion that killed Dr Grief.

But the Skeleton Key mission was the worst. Wimbledon, Cornwall, the shark... The crusher. This clip even had sound! God, he was yelling in shameful hysterics! Terror gripped him as he remembered those moments. His feet had been millimetres to being flattened! Then there was the whole issue with the heartbeat sensor, in sound. Then there was the whole deal with the Owen figure, the security guard, and the fight with Conrad. But the last thing struck him the hardest. It was subtitled: He watched as a corrupted, yet more innocent Alex Rider pulled out the card and threw it into the water. Then he gagged, hyperventilating, as Sarov shot himself.

The video moved on. The bullfight, Sabina, Air Force One, Consanto, SCORPIA, trying to kill Mrs Jones, the hot air balloon, Kaspar and his henchmen, the rocket, Ash, the Bora Falls, Dragon Nine, Greenfields, the crocodiles, the Simba dam...

And Julius Grief. He couldn't look away, he couldn't reach for the remote to turn off the DVD, couldn't move. He could only watch as he again went through the torture Razim had subjected him to, remembered the hollow despair when he had believed Jack dead. _No, no, NO! _He broke out of his trance when it was over, and fumbled for the off switch on the remote...  
>But not before he saw himself shoot Julius Grief.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Does Alex find out about Ian? And how? What do K-Unit have in store for him? How will his class treat him? Does Ian find out that Alex is a spy?<strong>

**That's all for now! I will come back, but only after REVIEWS! Do you realise how long it takes me to write chapters? (Not wanting to sound like a whiner, though... I could just decide not to write them...) Anyways, I want reviews! Please? *grossly terrible try at puppy dog eyes***


	7. Thanks, Tom

**Ready to read some more, people? Let's do this thing! I disclaim Alexander John Rider and all other characters you recognise. Also, ****does anyone have any better suggestions for the Title/Summary?**** REVIEW!**

* * *

><p><em>He broke out of his trance when it was over, and fumbled for the off switch on the remote...<br>But not before he saw himself shoot Julius Grief._

* * *

><p>Alex stared at the now black screen for a moment, still in shock, then groaned and put his elbows on the desk, his head in his hands so that the heels of his palms rested on his gaunt cheekbones, their prominence reminding him of how little he had eaten after Egypt.<p>

Alex sighed, and staying in the same position, closed his eyes and began to think wearily.

_You shouldn't have killed him- killing is wrong, you know that. __**You've killed before. **__In self-defence, though... __**How this any different? He was going to shoot you. **__It was still wrong! I went into the field with murderous intention... __**Or was it just because he looked like you? **__No, no, don't go there! __**Why not? Still too scared to face the truth? **__Yes... __**Shut up shutup SHUTUP! **_

Alex dug his fingernails into his palms. It was just too much to think about...

Then he heard voices from outside the hut. The Sarge! Alex stuffed his file into his bag at record speed, but the DVD seemed to take ages to eject; Alex had only _just _managed to slide the DVD into its clear plastic pocket and place it in his bag when the door slammed open. Alex pulled his hand out of the bag and stood to attention.

"At ease, Cub." Alex obeyed. Then: "You better get my desk tidy if you wanna see the light of day again!" Even though Alex knew the Sergeant was joking on this occasion, he couldn't help but think it was exactly what the man would say as a threat. Anyway, he started packing up the art materials carefully and made a neat pile.

The Sarge glanced at his piece of art and grunted appreciatively.

"Not bad, Cub."

"Thanks..."

"No, I mean it. Is that a mix of... Well... Bansky... and... That other guy... His name starts with B as well..!"

"It's Baumgärtel. And since when did you become an art swot?" The Sergeant sighed heavily.

"Well, Cub. I was a good student- Top of my league. Then I went and joined the SAS just to spite my parents. I was gonna drop out and get a good job, but I got into the whole Patriotism thing after a while, I guess." Alex knew how hard it must've been for the Sarge to say that, so he decided to offer some information of his own.

"I don't know if it'll be better or worse when the school crowd comes along; when they're here, K-Unit can't pick on me so much. However, there are a couple of people who're giving me a hard time 'cuz they think I'm doing drugs. You know, 'cuz I'm away on my missions...

"You'll find out soon enough, Cub," responded the Sergeant, and this time there was hint of humorous malice in his voice.

"Wh-whaddya mean?" Asked a suddenly unsettled Alex.

"They're arriving tomorrow."

* * *

><p>A very disgruntled Alex Rider made his way back to K-Unit's hut. He really had not been all too happy when the Sarge had explained that yet another situation had arisen at school, even if sandwiches had been offered. Apparently an agent's identity had been exposed. <em>What were MI6 thinking- Letting an agent go and teach history, anyway? <em>He only wished he knew who the person was...

Lost in this train of thought, Alex crept into the hut, where he received glares from the four men who seemed to be playing... Texas Hold 'em. He decided that he would just turn in early. It was damn freezing, anyway, and the small duvet might provide _some _warmth. He decided not to bother with pyjamas, and instead stripped down to his underwear and a T-shirt he'd snuck in underneath his uniform, which luckily no-one had seen; the rolling stones weren't really the correct dress code.

After about five minutes of Alex texting (Tom) on his iPhone in bed –

_**Tom: **__Hey Alex! Wassup? How's the Unit?_

_**Alex:**__ Terrible._

_**Tom: **__Huh? Why? Wat u mean?_

_**Alex: **__I mean they think I'm SCORPIA._

_**Tom: **__Sucks 2 b u, man_

_**Alex: **__2 true. Wat u been doin?_

_**Tom: **__Talking bout tomoz._

_**Alex: **__Lemme guess... Every1 think its gonna b gr8?_

_**Tom: **__Yh. It'll b cool!_

_**Alex: **__No. No it wont. BB is HELL!_

_**Tom: **__Chillax, dude... Watchin every1 struggle would b fun? U will totally b better at everything! The drama Queens... haha._

-K-Unit were all secretly wondering why Alex hadn't been at dinner, then finally seemed to outwardly note the teen's existence. But that was only because he laughed at Tom's text; all the girly girls would be whinging so much that even one hundred cups of coffee wouldn't do Wolf any good.

"Whatcha laughing at, Cub?" Snarled Wolf, snatching the phone out of Alex's hand and scanning the conversation. "Huh. Even deceiving your friends?" Now that hurt.

"No!" Shouted Alex, reclaiming his mobile from Wolf's grasp and quickly replying to Tom, just as Wolf glared and went to join the other men, probably to plan more cruel and unusual punishment.

_**Alex: **__Wolf just snatched phone and read convo._

_**Tom: **__Dammit._

_**Alex: **__Watev. Wolf will need coffee when he meets Sienna..._

_**Tom: **__Oh God. I bet shed even send a Saint on a murder spree..._

_**Alex: **__Hah. It wont b pretty..._

_**Tom: **__Trust me I know. Ms BRADSON gave her detention._

_**Alex: **__Wow. U gotta do a lot 4 that._

_**Tom: **__Yah Sienna was doin make-up and whinin inccesantly_

_**Alex: **__Its incessantly. _

_**Tom: **__Who CARES?_

_**Alex: **__Alex Rider._

_**Tom: **__Shuddup._

Then, as Alex started typing in a new message, he felt himself being lifted up. He looked round to see that Tiger was carrying him. He started thrashing, but it was no use; Tiger had rolled the duvet round Alex to trap him, and the spy really didn't want to break his precious phone by using it as a weapon.

"Put me down!" Alex yelled, while scrolling through his phone to find the silly string.

"Nope!" Yipped Tiger, half lowering down/throwing Alex outside the hut, just as someone threw a pillow in his face from behind the evil black-haired man.

"If you come in here before half four in the morning tomorrow, I swear I will flush your head down the toilet!" Somehow Alex Rider didn't think Wolf was joking, and he would've laughed had it been anyone else saying that.

He sighed and looked around. Alex certainly didn't want the Sarge to find out about this; K-Unit would just get meaner and continue to exclude him. Deciding that it would be pretty embarrassing if anyone saw him out there in a T-shirt and underwear, Alex scooped up his blanket, pillow and phone awkwardly, then headed off into the woods.

* * *

><p>Fifteen minutes later saw a certain teenager sitting on a low tree branch, head resting against a pillow squashed to the trunk of the tree, blanket tucked haphazardly around his frame, answering his phone which was ringing with the annoying tone that Tom had locked on it: (By steering one of Alex's fingers when he was asleep.)<p>

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world… _The caller ID happened to be Tom's.

"Y-y-yeah?" Asked Alex, teeth chattering; it must've been, like, _minus twenty degrees_!

"Hey, Al. You Okay?" Alex snorted, and when he next talked he had managed to overcome his stutter.

"Guess what K-Unit did to me this time."

"Uh… Forced you into a Tinkerbell dress?"

"WHAT?" Tom snickered, and Alex presumed that his friend would have been able to predict his reaction.

"Cute little Alex in his dress…"

"Shut. Up."

"You can't do anything to me over the phone!"

"Whatever." Growled Alex, already thinking up some revenge tactics.

"Anyway, you were saying about K-Unit…?"

"Let's just say… They sent me on a little camping trip."

"Without a tent?"

"Exactly. And now I am shivering in a tree, in my T-shirt and boxers, with only a tiny little blanket for warmth."

"Aww, Alex! You could freeze to _death_!"

"Yeah, yeah, thanks for the concern, Tom." But Tom answered in an uncharacteristically serious voice.

"You could, though!" Alex yawned. He was feeling kinda warm… And sleepy…

"Yeah, right."

"Did you just yawn?"

"So…?" Mumbled the spy.

"Alex! Don't fall asleep! You could die! Remember when we learned about how the body shuts down against the cold? You start getting really warm and begin to fall asleep! And then you die."

Alex pinched himself and blinked his eyes, trying to stop himself from falling asleep- No, dying. He was still feeling quite warm… He concentrated and could suddenly feel the wetness on his back where the frost had bitten at him, and glanced round suspiciously at the thin layer of frost-almost snow- on the ground.

"Al? Dude, are you there? Alex?"

"Yeah, Tom, thanks. You _saved my life_! Though it's pretty damn cold now…"

"You can't stay outside all night!"

"It's either that or be bullied and get my head flushed down the toilet."

"Well, it's better than _dying_! For God's sake, it's already… 10:55!"

"Tom, you don't understand. Ben betrayed me. I just can't face him anymore…"

"Alex. I'm sorry, I really am, dude. But I'd rather you were training with me tomorrow than six feet under."

"I won't fall asleep! Anyway, you should turn in. Or maybe not… The trip to BB is gonna be long."

"Me? Fall asleep? You need to be in your hut, getting a decent amount of rest!"

"Tom…"

"K-Unit might hate you, but they wouldn't go so far as to leave you to die!"

"They would if I was SCORPIA." There was a cold pause, and the feeling of tension stretched between the phones.

"Alright…"

"Yeah… So… What's Sienna been saying 'bout BB?"

"She's worrying about how she'll be able to do all her," Tom continued in a high pitch, "Pampering…"

"You sounded just like her!"

"I know, right? I'm just awesome like that!"

"So, why is it that you can imitate every girl's voice… But none of the guy's?"

"Hey! Tom Harris throws virtual pillow at Alex Rider!"

"Oh, that hurt _so_ much!"

"Whatever, Al. Or should I say Cub? Sergeant Cub?"

"Shut UP!"

"Sir yes Sir!-... Yeah, Mum… But I'm talking to Alex!... Take that back!... Fine, goodnight." Tom sighed. "Mum says I have to, in her words, roughly, 'Are you still awake?...Get off the phone…Gossiping like a schoolgirl? Is he your boyfriend?... Go to sleep, alright, cutie?'

"Is he your _what_?"

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, Alex. I really gotta go. DON'T FALL ASLEEP!"

Alex sighed as Tom hung up on him, shivering from the chilly air. Jack would be so much warmer… Jack! He hadn't called her today! It was now 11:06, and D.C was 5 hours behind. Only early evening over there… He took a few deep breaths, steeling himself against the cold so that he wouldn't stutter when talking to Jack.

"Hello?" Alex could hear lots of chattering in the background and people laughing.

"Hi Jack."

"Alex!" He heard her faint explanations to the people she seemed to be talking and joking with, and the chatter got fainter, though didn't entirely diminish. "How are you?"

"I'm good…" That was most certainly not true," Have I called at a bad time?"

"No, it's fine! How are K-Unit? You settling in Okay?"

"Yeah, they're all really nice to me." _Not…_

"Everyone's all awestruck that school kids are visiting the SAS!"

"It'd be strange if they weren't. Where are you?"

"Oh, at this sort of lawn party thing. Everyone's talking and drinking… Apart from the kiddies. It's great!"

"Are your nieces and nephews there?"

"Yeah. They're so sweet! Nothing like you were at their age…"

"Ha ha. So basically always throwing tantrums and shouting at the tops of their voices?"

"No! I mean, not scaring me half to death by trying crazy stunts on tables and monkeybars!"

"Look, Jack, I'm sorry about the time I tried to microwave an egg…"

"You were ten years old!"

"Exactly. Five _years _ago!"

"Sure, Alex. At least we know how to make reasonably formidable booby trap… thingies now!" Alex laughed, and Jack joined in with a happy giggle.

"Oh, well. Enjoy seeing your family!"

"You might get some more family too… I met this _red hot _guy clubbing the other night and I'm meeting him again tomorrow!"

"Good luck, Jack! Just make sure he's not a compulsive patriot and therefore hates MI6 with a passion!"

"But then he might help you to bring down Blunt!"

"Yeah, I'd like to see him try."

"Oh no, I'd better help my brother! He's trying to detach his kid from his leg! And he _really _wants another beer!"

"Sure! Talk to ya later, Jack! Love you!"

"I love you too, Alex! Bye-bye!"

* * *

><p>Jack Starbright went over to lure her five-year old nephew off his Dad's leg.<p>

"Remy, can you let go? I don't think Daddy likes that."

"No! I have to protect Daddy from evil guys!" Declared the boy, puffing out his chest. Jack almost laughed, but what he'd said had reminded Jack of how much Alex wanted her to be safe.

"What about me? I'm evil, and I'm coming to get Daddy, so you have to chase me away!" It worked. Remy launched himself after Jack, roaring fiercely and shouting,

"I'm coming to get you!" While Jack's brother smiled gratefully and snuck off for another pint. Jack, smiling, allowed Remy to catch her and lead her away to 'jail', which was the bench next to the group she had been talking with. Her Dad was sitting on the bench next to her.

"Hey, Jack. Who was on the phone?"

"Alex." Her Mother overheard this and sat down on the other side of her youngest daughter (Jack had two twin sisters, Cindy and Maura, three years older, and a brother, Drake, seven years older.)

"You need to get your own life, Jacqueline." Jack winced. She despised her full name so much that it only _just _came below Blunt on the list of her top hates.

"It's Jack. And you know Alex means a lot to me."

"I'm sure you could sort something out. He'd understand."

"Stop being so selfish! He has no parents, and his Uncle died only a year ago! I'm the closest person he's ever had!"

"But Jacqueline-"

"But maybe I love him too! Maybe I _like _London and Alex and his friends and our house… Don't you ever think about that?"

"Jack's right, Lauren." Jack's Dad, Brad, addressed her Mother.

"She's not even married!"

"_She _is right next to you! And maybe _she _isn't married because _she_ just found a date last night!"

"That's great, Jack!"

"Jacqueline, ask yourself, will this person stick by you once he finds out about the boy?"

"Alex isn't just some _boy _I met on the streets, Mom! And if the guy makes a fuss, then he's not worth it. Anyway, I'm sure he'd like Alex."

"Hey, Jack, can I meet Alex sometime? What's he like?" Asked Brad, trying to stop a full-blown argument from emerging between his daughter and Lauren.

"He's a great kid. Never throws a teenage strop, he's very responsible and hangs out with all the right people- His best friend is a guy called Tom Harris, who really understands Alex. Alex is a great sportsman and athlete, smart too, with a good sense of humour. Ian's death hit him really hard, though…" Jack trailed off. She despised lying to her parents; after all, it was for MI6's protection. But Alex wouldn't want anyone to know…

"Now I _really _wanna meet him!" Chuckled Brad cheerily, but Lauren _still _didn't approve.

"Why don't you live with him over here, in D.C, then?"

"Because there aren't any Kinder Eggs," replied Jack with a completely straight face, while her Mother sighed in exasperation.

"Jaqueline!"

"Mom, Alex is family now. It wouldn't be fair to uproot him so suddenly… And besides, Tom is the best friend he could ever have! On top of that, Tom's parents are going through a bad patch…" Drake had suddenly materialized with more beer, and was attempting to walk with an overprotective Remy on his leg.

"Drake! You've had more than enough alcohol!"

"Lay off, Mom. I'm a grown man. I can make my own choices, and so can Jack." His youngest sister smiled gratefully as Lauren huffed and finally left her alone.

"Thanks."

"No probs. Say, do you notice those guys hanging round here?" Drake gestured to the agents assigned to protect Jack.

"Yeah…" Jack got up and went over to him and whispered, "Don't tell Mom and Dad, but I was involved in an armed robbery and called 999-"

"Isn't it 911?"

"Not in England. I remember the first time I tried calling 911 over there…" She giggled nervously, "Anyway, the cops think I might be a target, so I've got bodyguards for a coupla weeks." Drake nodded.

"Ah. I see. Between you and me then?"

"Yep."

"Just one thing… Would you mind getting Remy to protect his cousins or sister instead of me?"

They both laughed as they looked over at the older girls and boys thinking they were completely safe from overprotective five-year olds…

* * *

><p><strong>This is my second longest chapter! Be happy! Now, poor little Alex, out in the freezing cold… :'( *boohoo* Sorry, Ian won't be making another appearance for quite a while, but don't worry, I have plans… Thanks for all the reviews last time! REVIEW.<strong>


	8. Shit Storm

**OMG! I am sorry -I haven't updated in ages! *giggles nervously* Mind putting the sub-machine guns away? Heh... Heh... Heh. On with the story –True Rider style! Also, could someone clue me in on the slang? ****E.g. Mary Sues, Garys, flames, fluff, ficlets, memes, SYOCs, crack, etc. **

* * *

><p>It was 1:30AM, and the Sergeant at Brecon Beacons was wandering around the woods; he couldn't sleep, just having had a bad dream. It had been about the first time he'd been to war, killed people, seen people die. Even wandering round the woods in an SAS camp, he was still on edge from the adrenalin still pumping round his veins. Then he heard some shifting coming from a tree and stepped forward into the moonlight.<p>

* * *

><p>Alex Rider was more tired than he'd ever been in his life. He'd tried to keep himself entertained by playing games on the internet, his favourites 'Chaos Faction' and 'Territory War'. Surprisingly, he still enjoyed games that involved guns, even after all he'd been through. Dammit, he just <em>loved<em> 'Armor Games'. Eventually, the glare of the screen against his eyes in the dark had put him off.

Alex felt really warm... He'd been trying to fend off sleep for the past half hour. His hands were going a strange shade and he was getting worried. Maybe Tom was right- Maybe getting his head flushed down the loo wasn't such a harsh price to pay. He really didn't think he could hold out much longer...

Then there was a rustling to his right, and Alex found himself staring into the Sergeant's bewildered eyes. There was a long silence, then the Sarge stalked up to Alex.

"Cub! What are you doing out here? It's freezing!" Screamed the frantic man, throwing his arms up.

"Uh, um, uh huh, huh, huh...-"

"You need to go to the infirmary right now! Your whole bloody face is blue!" Alex tried to raise an eyebrow, but was so numb he found he couldn't.

"Uh, uh, Okay!" Alex got up, wrapping his blanket tightly around him, clutching his precious iPhone. The Sarge grabbed the back of his T-shirt and practically dragged the teen behind him, despite protests, to which he responded with,

"You're lucky I'm not _carrying _you!" The young spy quickly shut up and increased his pace as they walked, slivers of moonlight passing over their faces, breath misting in the cold air.

Although Alex was being quiet, and half running to keep up with the Sarge, the soldier still ranted about 'irresponsibility' and 'idiocy', maybe even more than Jack would have.

"What the hell were you thinking? ... Bloody idiot! ... Need to see a psych ... Freezing! ... Minus zero bloody degrees!" And so it went on, for a whole _five freaking minutes _until he eventually reached the infirmary and got rushed into a bed. God, they were the _SAS, _weren't they? They'd seen worse! Or was he just underestimating his condition?

_Nah_, Alex dismissed, _It's just 'cuz you're a kid._

* * *

><p>The Sergeant was <em>absolutely livid<em>. He had expected better of K-Unit! Sure, SCORPIA was an edgy topic, but just how dumb _were _they? The meatheads. Why, just _why _would the SAS willingly let a SCORPIA member into camp? K had probably waved it off, or assumed that he didn't know. Well, wouldn't it have been a good idea to _bloody tell him, then_? For the love of God.

K-Unit were in for a long night.

* * *

><p>Alex was sitting on a comfy bed with big puffy sheets, and the radiator turned up full blast. He could feel a cold sensation coming back to him, almost as if he were thawing out or defrosting. Despite the circumstances, he flopped back on the pillow and felt a smirk tugging at his lips. He bet this was <em>way <em>better than what the others got when they were sick or injured. Sometimes being a kid really had its benefits.

Just then, there was a nervous knock on the door and a sunny blonde head peeped round the door. The head happened to belong to... A woman? But what would a woman be doing in an SAS camp?

The lady gave a bright smile and strolled into the room, holding a bowl piled high with chips, which happened to be exactly the sort of big chunky ones Alex liked- Spindly fries were just... Urgh. She also seemed to be struggling to hold a hot drink and another plate with a large burger on it as well.

_Wow. Just how did she do that? _Alex almost winced as he remembered the last time he had attempted to carry too many plates at once... It had ended up with Jack forcing him to go out and buy new plates for her. _Girly ones. _And they just _had _to be selling in the department store everyone went into to gape at the new consoles and angst about lack of money.

Alex heard a clatter as the Nurse set down the food and drink- which he could now see was hot chocolate, with a heap of whipped cream and marshmallows too- and looked up, awkward at having drifted off onto an almost random train of thought.

"Hiya!" Sang the nurse. Alex immediately took a liking, pleased that she wasn't one of those women who tried to _gush _like some of the pop stars on TV.

"Hey."

"You're that school kid who came here early because you got suspended, aren't you?" She wagged a finger jokingly and teased, "Naughty, naughty, what did you do? Throw your creamed potatoes at the canteen lady?"

A mental image of the canteen lady gasping in shock with creamed potato dripping off her face sprung into Alex's mind, and he couldn't stop himself from laughing. He tucked that idea away for later. Tom would have great fun imagining that; in fact, his friend might even draw a bizarre picture of it. Maybe with fangirls bowing at Alex's feet, despite protests.

The woman laughed with him.

"I'm Felicity Crimsonrock, and I love my name, _thank you. _I'm here because the Government think the soldiers might go too hard on the kids. They don't want to get sued by prissy parents! Anyway, why did you get suspended? And no smart talking, Mister! I know what you kids can be like these days..." She gave a mock accusatory glare. "Well? On with the story!"

Alex sighed and decided it would simply be better to comply.

"Well, there was this kid in my class who was being a total arse," Felicity tutted at his language good-naturedly, "And he, uh, ripped up this photo of my parents, so I, uh, punched him. It doesn't _seem _like such a big deal, but... My parents died when I was one, so... Yeah." He finished lamely.

"Oh. Well. I'm sorry. Eat up and get your rest! Everyone complained I was babying you when I got this stuff!" Felicity smiled reassuringly, maybe even slightly pitying, and exited, just as Alex stuffed a chip in his mouth and stared at the daunting burger, onions and ketchup peeking out from under the bun.

Just _how _was he meant to open his mouth so wide as to bite that... _Monstrosity_?

* * *

><p>A loud pounding on the door woke Wolf from his deep sleep. He cracked open his eyes and proceeded to stumble out of bed, noticing the others were doing the same. He thought he heard Fox mutter something along the lines of:<p>

"1:46AM in the bloody morning...!" Wolf was certain it was that SCORPIA brat, Cub. He probably wouldn't have followed up with the 'flushing-his-head-down-the-toilet' promise if the kid came back quietly; that was so old. But now that Cub was banging on the door at this hour? He was sure as hell not getting away with it.

Eagle moodily yanked open the door; though the man was usually far too loud and hyper, interrupt his sleep unnecessarily and he could be a real grouch.

_Just like a big baby, actually. _Wolf promptly shook that _extremely _disturbing thought out of his head as the door swung open.

The Sergeant had been the last person any of them had been expecting to see.

* * *

><p>The Sarge stormed into the hut and slammed the door, his expression dark, taking in the shocked expressions of K-Unit.<p>

"What were you thinking?" He growled, "Leaving a _fifteen year old _outside in the middle of January? He could have frozen to death!"

There was immediately an outburst.

"But he's SCORPIA!..."

"Why are you defending him?..."

"He deserved it!..."

And so on. But Ben only protested half-heartedly. He had a horrible feeling deep in his gut- A feeling that said they'd been wrong about Alex...

The Sergeant finally snapped.

"SHUT _UP, _YOU IMBECILES!" There was an immediate, stunned hush in the room. "HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH IDIOTS? HE'S NOT WITH SCORPIA, HE FREAKING _TOOK THEM DOWN, _FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

"Wh-Wh- What the hell?" Stammered Tiger, "B-B-But he was talking about bombs and stuff! And his shooting is SCORPIA standard!"

"You bloody eejits," muttered the Sarge, shaking his head. "You bloody eejits! HE TOOK DOWN SCORPIA _FROM THE INSIDE, _YOU FREAKS!"

They all stared in silence for a moment, completely shaken. Alex had actually been... With MI6? He'd really saved their lives and fought for the greater good? And they'd repaid him by making his life hell and betraying his trust? God, they really were true bastards. Everyone in the Unit felt sick to their stomachs.

"He's in the Infirmary now," snarled the Sarge, completely hostile, "Being treated for possible pneumonia." With that, the man slammed the door behind him and trudged off.

For a few minutes, the Unit stared at the door, before Ben started to pace.

"Oh my God... Oh my God... How could I do that to him? After he trusted me...?" None of the Unit answered, all wallowing in misery and disbelief.

"How could I have believed he was SCORPIA? I betrayed him! I should have known better..." I determined look crossed Ben's features. "I have to go and see him!"

"No!" Shouted Wolf, almost involuntarily. Then his stance became weary and he explained, "Look, before you go barging in yelling that you're sorry, just let him cool down, Okay? Work off some of his anger and prepare for it, yeah?"

Ben sighed and reluctantly turned away from the door, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah, yeah. And I sort of need to think about what I'm gonna say. Anyway, better rest up in preparation for the arrival of the school brats tomorrow..."

Everyone clambered back into their bunks, even though it was perfectly clear that they were not going to be able to sleep.

* * *

><p>"I'm gonna be better than the SAS guys!"<p>

"...But my make-up..."

"Druggie Rider is finished..."

"OMG! I chipped a nail..."

"We can take them down when they're all high..."

"And, like, what about my _hair_?"

Tom Harris was _not _having a good day. He was about to get shipped off to Brecon Beacons, and it was likely that his best friend was lying in that thing... What did the soldiers call it?... The infirmary. And on top of that, he was squished in the queue leading to the coach between:... Ryan and Sienna. So until the teachers managed to sort everything out and get a move on, one of his ears was going to be ringing with Ryan's constant boasting and criticism of Alex, the other with Sienna's make-up, hair, and nail worries for a very long time.

The teachers accompanying them were:

Mr. Bray (Headmaster)

Mr Wiseman (P.E)

Mr Gilbert (Geography)

Mr Shermann (History)

Mrs Bedfordshire (Secretary)

Mr Grey (Supply teacher/Tutor)

Mr Donovan (Maths)

Mr Crotchet (English)

Tom had decided that his school was _seriously _sexist. They seemed to have hardly any female teachers... And that wasn't counting Mrs Bedfordshire, as secretaries were often stereotyped as female. Tom sighed inwardly. He knew he was only trying to distract himself from the thought of Alex. Alex had just seemed so tired in their conversation over the phone-

That was it! The phone! How could he have been so stupid! All he had to do was call! Tom slipped his black Samsung-who was quite obviously called... Well, Sam.- out of his pocket. Tom had set the ringtone to:

_Hey Tom! You gotta caller! _Then Alex had walked into the room. _**Tom, what are you doing? And where is that chocolate bar I left in the fridge? **__Umm... I'm setting Sam's ringtone! Hey Tom! This is Sam! __**Sam. For a SAMsung. SO imaginative! **__Whatever. Everything you just said is part of my new ringtone. __**What? No! Gimme the phone! **__HE'S CALLED SAAAM! __**Come back here, Thomas Harris! **__You sound like Jack! _Then there was a lot of buzzing and the sound stopped.

Once Tom had purposefully put an alarm on his phone that would set off the phone halfway through a lesson. And Tom had pretended he didn't know where it was and 'searched' for it until the ringtone ended. Alex's face had been awesome!

He put the phone to his ear with a chuckle.

* * *

><p>Alex groaned. There was some stupid music playing into his ears. He just wanted to <em>sleep<em>! God! Then his ears finally cleared enough for him to hear the lyrics of the music:  
><em>"You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere…"<em>

Alex's eyes snapped open and he scrambled for his mobile._  
>"Imagination, life is your creation…"<em>

He finally managed to grab his phone, and promptly started unlocking it as fast as was humanly possible._  
>"I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy worl-"<em>

A huge sigh of relief escaped Alex's lips as he looked around quickly to see if anyone had overheard the awful ringtone, and found nobody. He settled back in his bed, and was about to put the phone back on the side table when a voice startled him.

"Alex, dude? Are you _there_?" Alex lifted the phone to his ear.

"What, Tom? I'm tired!"

"… Did you just seriously admit you were tired?"

"Yes! And I still am!" The spy whinged uncharacteristically.

"Aw, dude, please chat with me!" Then Tom dropped his voice, and, in horror, whispered, "I'm waiting to get on the coach and I'm squished in the line between _Ryan_ and _Sienna_." Sure enough, Alex could hear snatches of Ryan's _extremely _loud boasting and Sienna's high-pitched squeals, or rather shrieks.

"_Fine_!"

"Is poor lickle Alex all grumpy today?"

"Shut _up_!"

"Okay, Okay, keep your hair on! What's it like up at that camp?"

"Hell."

"Aw, c'mon dude, say something _encouraging_! I'm scared for my life the way you're advertising the place!"

"You should be."

"Wow, you really _are _in a bad mood. … _YES! _We can _finally _get on the coach!"

"Right. Who you sitting with?"

"Uhhh…" Alex could then hear lots of chatter and shrieking before Tom answered, "James!"

"Cool." Then Felicity Crimsonrock waltzed into the room and said brightly,

"I see you're awa-" Then she saw the phone and cut herself off, with a soft "Oh."

"I'll see you in Wales, 'Kay, Al?"

"Sure. See ya. Bye."

"Very enthusiastic! Bye!"Alex hung up with a slight smile, and turned towards Felicity.

"Hey." He greeted, then decided to just cut to the chase and blurted out: "Am I allowed out of this bed yet?" Felicity chuckled gently, almost disbelievingly.

"I'd have thought you'd have wanted to stayin bed, not be dragged back out into the Welsh rain for more training in the middle of January! It's absurd! You need to rest up and regain your strength!"

"But I hate hospitals!" _Wow, Alex, whining? You're definitely not yourself today… _Alex sighed. "I just- I mean… It's kinda… Boring, yeah?"

"You didn't exactly look in the best of health when you got dragged in by the Sergeant last night! What was that all about? Some ridiculous sort of _RTI? _" Felicity's eyes widened and she stared at Alex. "Water torture…?" She whispered hoarsely, looking like she was about to pass out.

"No!" Yapped Alex, panicked, "No, no, no! That did _not _happen!" Felicity opened her mouth once again to grill him, but she was interrupted by an awkward enquiry of:

"Alex?" Fox appeared at the door, shifting uncomfortably. Neither man nor boy said anything, Alex's face simply blank. Felicity looked swiftly between the two, clearly agitated.

"I-I… guess I'd better be on my way?" Without waiting for an affirmative, she quickly darted out of the room, clearly quite rattled, probably by his blank face, Alex presumed.

"Ben." Said Alex simply, as the man closed the door behind the agitated nurse and stood still for a while, seemingly at a loss. Then without warning, the MI6 agent suddenly started pacing and gabbled out,

"Oh my God, Alex, I'm so sorry! I should have just stopped and thought! I didn't realize,I- I just thought it was all a cover but I was wrong and you're actually good and now you're in the infirmary and you could have pneumonia and I was so bad to you and and and and…" Ben trailed off and flapped his hands around, clearly in distress, a guilty expression etched into his features.

"Ben. It's fine," replied Alex indifferently. The spy looked up,

"Wh-wh-wha? I mean, what? Aren't you even gonna shout at me or anything for being such a… such a… You know what,I can't even find a bad enough insult! Not suitable for your ears, anyway…"

"Do you _want _me to shout at you? Because, to get to the point, I can't be arsed." Ben blinked at Alex's straightforward reply, and also his language. But, seriously, the kid was _fifteen. _Did he really expect him not to use such a low-strength word as _arsed? _Ben shook his head and sighed- He must be getting pretty old, but only in mentality! Then he remembered he had yet to answer the kid.

"I don't know. The point is, you should be totally biting my head off about this! I was meant to _protect _you!"

"I can look after myself, Ben," Alex shot back. He really _hated _being seen as some wimpy little weakling who would crack at the slightest thing. Hell, Ben had seen him on the Snakehead mission! Alex wasn't too affected by the whole ordeal; he'd still work and be civil with the Unit, but he wouldn't trust them with his secrets, nor would he mess around with them like they were old friends. He hadn't been planning to do any of that anyway. There was an awkward silence, and then:

"Uh, hey, Cub, can I, uh, do anything for you?" Ben asked hesitantly, switching to Alex's code name after hearing the Sarge's faint shouting echoing down the hallway.

"Get me my SAS clothes." Was Alex's almost immediate reply; he had been thinking of getting out of the bed for bloody _ages! _Anyway, he needed to be there to protect his class from the notorious K-Unit. They would rip the kids to shreds if he wasn't there! They didn't understand just how inexperienced, slow and weak those children really were.

"Uh, um, are you sure you should be coming out of the infirmary yet? I mean..." Ben trailed off as Alex directed a particularly mean glare at him. "Uh, well, Okay then! I'll get the clothes!" The SAS soldier turned spy turned, flustered, to the door just as the Sarge barged in, narrowly missing Ben. The Sergeant ignored Ben-or Fox- and strode up to Alex's bed, uniform in hand.

"I can finally get out of this stupid bed!" Grinned Alex as the Sarge set the uniform down on a chair, and then looked up, surprised,

"What, you mean you're getting out of bed now? You only just got into the infirmary!"

"Aw, c'mon. I only have a little sniffle, for God's sake! And I wanna be there when my class arrives…" The Sergeant frowned slightly, then decided it would be pointless to try and dissuade the boy; he did have extremely valid points.

"Fine. But the school won't be here for three and a half hours."

"It's _Okay. _I can do some warm up and try and predict the average times of the kids on the assault course."

"About that," the Sarge beamed demonically, flaunting sharp canines, "You're going to be organizing the activities."

"What? No way!" screeched a gobsmacked Alex, "They'll hate me!"

"We don't have to tell them you organized it. The soldiers will be more than happy to take credit."

"Okay. So how is this going to work? A unit assigned to each year group?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? K-Unit's in charge of everyone!" Alex stared at the Sarge for a few seconds before promptly bursting out into disbelieving laughter. One unit for a whole school! Yeah, right. That was a good one!

"What?" Asked the Sarge, in a rather childish and confused voice, looking completely baffled. Alex outright gaped at him. The man was serious?

"You're assigning four men and one boy to train a _whole school?"_

"Yes…?"

"A school with approximately a thousand pupils?" Said Alex smirking slightly, "I'm sure it would be easier just to pull out 6 more units. If you gave each year a unit, there would be approximately 144 pupils for them to train. And if you get each person of the Unit a group from the class they're training, each person would be responsible for approximately 36 pupils.

"H-How did you work that out so quickly? It actually sounds rehearsed…"

"Let's just say I have a lot of time on my hands."

The Sergeant dumped the uniform on top of Alex's bed, then walked off, shaking his head slightly, presumably (and hopefully!) off to find six more units.

Alex, however, was pulling on some clothes, wondering how he and K-Unit were going to sort out their groups. The kids would never listen to _him! _

He then quickly tied up his laces and fiddled with his collar, and stepped out into the cold Welsh air, setting off at a jog for the assault course, only then realizing he had missed breakfast.

* * *

><p>The coach was pulling into the camp, and all seven units were standing together, waiting to be assigned a class. Alex had filled out some timetables and given two to each unit; contrary to belief, it wasn't easy to get four soldiers to share a timetable between them and also not to lose it.<p>

All the school kids came streaming into a space in front of all the units, where everyone was standing to attention, even him. Some of his classmates were pointing and snickering, primarily at him. Little did they know that this was highly offensive to the soldiers and that it would come back to bite them in the butt.

The Sergeant stalked up in front of all the kids and roared at them:

"BE QUIET!" Some of the wiser kids and most of the Year 7s fell silent almost immediately, but the vast majority were still gabbling like mad. Alex almost winced. Things were going to get bad. Very bad…

He was broken out of his thoughts of impending doom by a wave from Tom, who was, rather intelligently, for once, staying quiet. Alex tried to signal with his eyes that he wasn't supposed to move and that he was meant to keep a straight face, and Tom nodded and seemed to understand, because he turned his attention to the Sergeant. The explosion was coming…

"WILL YOU KIDS SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP?" The silence immediately spread through the crowd like a shockwave. The Sarge seemed satisfied with the results and quietly turned to all the units.

"At ease, men." Finally! Alex let his back muscles and abs rest from holding him up so straight for such a long time. A relaxed stance was heaven after all that time… Then he tuned into what the Sergeant was saying,

"We'll assign a teacher to every unit and give them a codename," some soldiers' eyes narrowed or they made similar expressions of displeasure at this new development. "Could all the teachers step up here?" It was an order in the guise of a question.

Before any of the other teachers made their way to the front, Snake did. He quickly saluted and went on to ask, respectfully,

"May I join K-Unit, Sir?" The Sergeant nodded.

"Go ahead, Snake," he replied, projecting his voice on the 'Snake' so that everyone would hear the codename.

The remaining units were:

L-Unit (Buffalo and Leopard's unit.)

X-Unit

D-Unit

N-Unit

A-Unit (Often jokingly called 'The A Team' even though none of the soldiers had actually watched that movie.)

B-Unit

When the teachers had all lined up, awaiting a code name and a unit, the Sergeant had an evil little smile on his face.

"Now Cub will assign you all code names and a unit." _What?_

"But Sir-!"

"Are you asking me for kitchen duty?"

"No…"

"Then just do it." Alex scowled but complied. He guessed the trick would be to make it look like it wasn't such a big deal, although in reality he felt really uncomfortable doing this. Mr. Bray was first.

"Donkey, K-Unit."

"Why Donkey?" Protested Mr. Bray feebly, and rather childishly.

"The surname says it all," replied Alex. Mr. Bray frowned for a bit, perplexed as to what Alex meant, and then realized how the name 'Bray' could relate to a donkey.

Mr. Wiseman next… Alex was quickly trying to think up a name when Eagle blurted out,

"Sir! Can I help Cub with the names?" When he got a positive reply, he went on to say, "You should be called Owl! Because your name is Mr. _Wise_man! Is that Okay, Cub?" Owl got lumped with X-Unit.

"Sure," nodded Alex, although he knew his sports teacher would absolutely despise the name.

Then Mr. Gilbert with his curly hair and funny tie. It had a Pokémon that Alex identified as Treecko on it, which was known as a 'gecko pokémon'. So the young teacher got the coolest codename so far, Gecko, and joined D-Unit

Mr. Shermann was donned Robin, as he was one of Alex's favourite teachers, so he was thinking of Robin in Batman. No one else seemed to come to that conclusion, thinking it was because the man had very rosy cheeks, as he got cold easily in their current environment. N-Unit had to integrate him into their team.

Mrs Bedfordshire was originally given the codename Rabbit, as she was a nice, cuddly sort of woman, but she surprised everyone by saying she wanted a fiercer name; one that was actually cool. Rabbit morphed into Shark. The 'A-Team' were quite insulted to have a woman in their unit.

Mr Grey was called Armadillo because Alex was thinking of grey armadillos. Because he just was. B-Unit got the _pleasure _of welcoming Armadillo to the camp.

Mr Donovan was given the title of Pika, an animal that only Alex had heard of, it seemed. He thought it would be funny to give Donovan the codename of a fluffy mouse animal thing. The man had _no idea _what a pika was, as he was grinning broadly. He got dumped with L-Unit.

L-Unit- Yr 7, Pika **Donovan**

X-Unit- Yr 8, Owl **Wiseman**

D-Unit- Yr 9, Gecko **Gilbert**

N-Unit- Yr 10, Robin **Shermann**

K-Unit- Yr 11, Snake, Donkey **Crotchet, Bray**

A-Unit- Yr 12, Shark **Bedfordshire**

B-Unit- Yr 13, Armadillo **Grey**

Alex nearly groaned as he took in his situation. Just _why _had he put the Headmaster, or Donkey, into his unit? And what bright spark had put him in charge of his loud, obnoxious classmates? The Yr 7s or Yr 13s would have been better. The Yr 7s because they were still wary of the older kids, and the Yr 13s because they had enough sense to know, that, although younger, Alex knew better than them. Well, apart from some of the arrogant dicks.

Alex mentally sighed, looking at his classmates who were completely disregarding him and the rest of K-Unit. Just _how _was he going to survive the next two weeks?

* * *

><p><strong>When I put the breakfast thing down, it was 'cuz I'd only just realized! ROFLMAO. (I'm obsessed with that abbreviation now…) It means Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off<strong>

**When I made the Sarge say 'just do it' I was reminded of the sort of motto of this sports company… Adidas or Nike?**

**So, I'm REALLY sorry this took so long to churn out, but… Distractions! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! …And maybe review?**


	9. The Rhyming Bros

**I. AM. SO. SORRY. Seriously. The thing is, this computer is really old, and one day it just sort of... Died. Luckily, it was fixed. This is the first day I have gotten my computer back and this is when this whole paragraph has been written. All the rest is what I wrote before the computer broke, but with some new edits, as I found this chapter the hardest to write so far. If you're still here... MARSHMALLOWS! [] [] [] Btw, Twinnie, I apologise for the stupid reply I wrote to your review below. Thanks for the tips, and I understand where I've gone wrong, but some things are less realistic because I had to twist them so that the story would work.**

**OMFG! I have over 100 reviews! ^_^ XDness! Thanks to everyone who ever reviewed this story in their whole entire lives! BTW have you noticed I'm permanently hyper yet? Also, thanks to Twinnie for giving a really long and helpful review XD. I suppose some of the things I write are pretty absurd *cheesy grin* Haha. Guys, I PROMISE Ian will come along later... I just can't do Ian POV because that would sort of not be so suspenseful. **

**PG BREAK**

Alex was in charge of 20 people, including Mr. Bray- Uh, Donkey. As he looked at the group huddled in front of him, he wanted to groan louder than he ever had before and bash his head against a nearby tree. But he didn't, for elite superspies never engaged in that kind of activity. Not in front of other people, anyway...

The thing, or things, that were making Alex so distraught were none other than, you guessed it, Ryan and Sienna. As if that wasn't enough, Ryan's best- And very popular- friend, Brian, was in Alex's group also. Just to add a cherry on top. At the moment, everyone except 'Donkey' and Tom were chatting loudly and generally not paying attention to him whatsoever. With a glare, Alex decided to take control.

"TEN-SHUN!" He roared, just like in some sort of war movie. Some people momentarily stopped talking, then turned back to their conversation, disinterested. Tom tried to stand to attention somewhat and Mr. Bray followed his student's example. With a critical eye, Alex noted that both their postures were quite sloppy. Taking another deep breath, he tried to get the group's attention again.

"Shut up, you bloody freaks!" This gained their interest; they all wanted to see druggie Rider flip out. To their disappointment, that wasn't quite going to happen. Instead they were just going to observe and later make jokes about the fact that he was acting just like the Sergeant... Or Wolf.

"If you don't stand to attention in one second and damn well listen to me, you lot are going to run that assault course 'till your legs get tired of it and decide to take a six-week vacation!" Ok, that was weird wording, and Alex didn't know why, but he quite liked saying vacation rather than holiday. There were definitely more than a few stares... But they shut up, nonetheless. "God knows, you certainly need to shift your fat asses..." He grumbled.

Of course Ryan and Brian (Who called themselves 'The Rhyming Bros', lame as it was.) just _had _to challenge him.

"Oh yeah, Rider? I bet you can't even run the thing." Sneered Ryan, full of himself as ever. Alex decided not to let the boy get to him, so said something that was undoubtedly annoying.

"That's actually a good idea. I'll do a demo." Ryan so stunned it was as though he had been slapped across the face.

Alex threw the timer to Mr. Bray, who caught it with noticeable difficulty.

"Time me, would you? Now, everyone, line up facing the assault course." No one did move apart from Tom, Mr. Bray, and a few kids who had pulled their heads out of their butts. "Do it before I call Wolf over." A glance at the caffeine-deprived SAS man quickly sent everyone scrambling into a position where they could see Alex as he progressed through the assault course.

Alex went up to the start line and tensed for Mr. Bray to shout at him to go. Since he wasn't looking at the man, he couldn't see the shooing hand motions that were made. After about 10 seconds he grew irritable and looked towards his Headmaster, a slight glare fixed across his face.

"Go! Go!" Flustered Mr. Bray, waving his hands like a lunatic and looking like the biggest idiot the world has ever seen. He could get like that when he was agitated. Alex rolled his eyes slightly, but so that his Headmaster couldn't see and broke off into a sprint towards the first obstacle.

"You're such an idiot! Not even conserving your energy!" Sniped Brian, with a loud vocal agreement from Ryan. Alex pointedly ignored them; it wasn't worth his time, and anyway, Tom was cheering him on, blatantly disregarding what 'The Rhyming Bros' were saying. A small smile of amusement and gratitude graced Alex's face as he continued to haul himself up ropes and whiz over tall fences, never once slowing down from his original pace.

Alex urged himself on, pushing himself harder and harder with every step. He had to get a good time! It would be kitchen duty for him otherwise... No. Kitchen Duty... He'd heard horror stories about it. Finally Alex reached the last stretch and sprinted as fast as he could towards the finish line, gradually slowing down and panting as he kept his muscles loose.

Mr. Bray glanced at the stopwatch. It claimed that Alex had taken ten minutes, five seconds. The man knew that there was a good ten seconds extra added to that, but he decided to ignore it.

"Ten minutes, five seconds!" He announced jubilantly.

"Awww," Moaned Alex, disappointed, "That's five seconds slower than last time!" Alex Rider should not have said that. For at that precise moment, the Sarge had been walking up to the group to examine how Alex was getting on.

"Five seconds slower, Cub?! You know the drill. Twenty-five push-ups!"

"Wh-Why does he have to do twenty-five push-ups?" Inquired Mr. Bray, concerned. This was addressed to the Sergeant, but Alex decided to be helpful and answer for him.

"Because, Donkey, we have to do five push-ups for every second slower."

"But that's not fair! You're only fifteen!"

"Age doesn't matter if you're in the SAS!" The Sarge barked, losing his temper, "Here, we have no ranks. We're not going to go easier on some snot-nosed punk!"

"Since when was I a punk? A snot-nosed one at that..." The spy grunted as he continued his pushups.

"Not sure about the punk bit, you're too uncool to be called a punk, but the snot-nosed thing? Since for-_ever_!" Called out Sienna in a particularly annoying tone, before shrinking back behind Ryan when the Sarge turned round to glare at her, before deciding it wasn't worth his energy and stalking off.

"Alex-" Started Mr. Bray before he was reprimanded by his pupil,

"It's Cub."

"Well, Cub, what shall we do now?" Alex quickly pulled himself up from the ground and stood, observing the pupils and his headmaster.

"All of you, line up in front of the assault course. I'll time your progress and call out what you should be doing better and useful tips in general."

"Says the person who got a lousy _ten minutes, five seconds_!" Snarked Brian, which was rather hypocritical, considering that just a while ago he had been calling Alex an idiot for not conserving any energy. Mr. Bray (finally) reprimanded one of Alex's opponents:

"Brian, since you haven't run the course yet, you are in no position to determine how good Alex's time was." Brian just gave a moody one-shouldered shrug in response, causing Mr. Bray to sigh despairingly.

"For that, maggot, you can go first!" Yapped Alex, finding that the Sarge's technique of calling people names and almost deafening them was actually quite satisfying...

"Oi! 'E called me a maggot!" It was quite pathetic, actually. _Brian White _was whining because he was being called a maggot. Seriously? With a mocking grin, Alex went on to teach him a lesson.

"As long as you are here, _I _am the authority! _I_ am responsible for your training and I will not let it be half-assed because _YOU_ are taking up all my time! This is _NOT_ a game! Understood?!"

"Y-Y-Yes!"

"Yes SIR!"

"Yessir!"

"Good. Now, everyone can keep running this course until they get a time of at _least _seventeen minutes. GOT IT?!"

"YES SIR!"

Alex nodded, content for the moment. He knew that at some point his classmates would start rebelling against him again, but he would just have to threaten them with kitchen duty, running laps, that sort of thing. Or maybe he would be crueler and threaten for them to be put in solitary with Eagle... The teen shuddered- He couldn't even _begin _to think about being submitted to that sort of horror, despite everything he'd been through in the past year.

Alex shook any thoughts about his missions (Particularly _that _mission in Cairo.) lingering on the corners of his mind back out of his consciousness, and concentrated on running everyone through the course, shouting out helpful hints all the way.

**PG BREAK (finally)**

Alex wanted to tear his face off in disbelief. No, really, he did, and was extremely close to doing just that, but in the end Alex settled for faceplanting into his palm and then dragging it down over his features. Everyone in his group had been running the course for three hours, and, to say the least, it was a total disaster.

No one had made the course in the allocated time. Well, excepting himself, that was.

The fastest time made had been twenty-five minutes, thirty seconds. And that time had been made by Ryan, one of the most athletic in the year! Alex had managed around seventeen minutes _last. Year_! At this rate, if the school got attacked again, Alex would be their only hope. One person defending approximately a thousand? Someone would be sure to die. And that was not what a certain Mr. Rider wanted. At all.

"Alright, everyone. It's been _THREE HOURS _and none of you have managed to complete the course within the allocated time! You've all had _at least _twenty runs! This is not good enough! If you can't get fitter by the end of this course, then when we get attacked you won't even have time to snivel a goodbye to your Mummies! _UNDERSTOOD_?!"

"YES SIR!" The group shouted, looking quite rattled. Good. That was what Alex wanted. Then Mr. Bray popped a question.

"Um, Cub?" Not waiting for an affirmative to continue, 'Donkey' ploughed on. "I notice that you said 'when we get attacked', rather than 'if we get attacked'."

"Yes," Alex confirmed, "An attack is completely inevitable; SC-" The spy cut himself off, reprimanding himself for nearly revealing that he knew the assassins were from SCORPIA, for that would have caused mass panic. "The assassins that killed my brother are not the kind to forgive easily."

_Because Scorpia never forgives, Scorpia never forgets. Isn't that right Alex? After all, you've had a firsthand experience... _At this reminder, his bullet wound was reminded of his job to give Alex a painful twinge. It never could go even one day without doing that, could it?

Finally Alex finished his talk and sighed, looking them over. They all looked completely worn out- And they couldn't even make seventeen minutes! Shoulders slumping slightly in defeat, Alex dismissed them.

"Just... Go and have your lunch, alright?"

**PG BREAK**

Mr. Bray was feeling perplexed. Very, very perplexed. As always, it was to do with Alex Rider. Alex's codename was Cub... That was rather odd, considering the conversation Mr. Bray had had about a week ago:

_"Oh yes..." Chuckled Snake, "I'm pretty sure they'll call them maggots, make them do push ups, maybe go on the obstacle course-Minimum completion time of 20 minutes, paintball- K-Unit vs. Them... Yeah, it'll be great. Though none of them will be as good as Cub..." Snake trailed off._

_"Who's Cub?"_

_"Oh, it was this kid with real rich parents. They wanted him to be able to defend himself- you know, in case of ransoms and stuff, but it turned out he was a total legend. He was there for two weeks, yet in that time he even managed to be good as some of our more experienced soldiers..."_

So there was this Cub, apparently a total legend. Then there was Alex Rider, also given the codename Cub, and who was clearly able to complete the courses with an SAS standard. It seemed too 'coincidental' to _be _a coincidence. Then there was also that Alex had been off school many times, and every time had come back with bruises, and that his Uncle and now dead brother were spies. Well, one _had been._ And then, hadn't he vanished after the school shooting?

A possibility seeded itself in Henry Bray's mind. No… It just wasn't possible… Was it? The mysterious absences, the cuts and bruises, the way Alex looked older every time he returned to school. No. It was ridiculous, impossible. He needed to get a grip. But still… No. Something like that wouldn't- _couldn't _happen. It just wasn't possible, was it?

Was Alex Rider a _spy_?

**PG BREAK**

Meanwhile, the students of Brooklands were having similar thoughts about the very same mysterious character generally regarded as a druggie: Alex Rider, who else?**(1)**

They too started to dig deeper to the truth, the whole issue being started by the girl who had alerted everyone, in Geography, that Alex Rider had allegedly been at Cairo College rather than sick. Unfortunately, the same girl happened to have seen Alex's amazing skill on the assault course. Then there was also the factor that she was reasonably clever, unlike _some_ students.

-His absences.

-His cuts and bruises upon returning from sick leave.

-The way he seemed to become increasingly troubled.

-His astounding physical skills.

-There was a shooting at school, the shot seemingly aimed at him. After this, he disappeared.

-His visit to Cairo College, and, according to her friend, denial of his true identity.

-The way he handled the situation when Yassen pointed a gun at him. Like it was an everyday occurrence.

-A brother and uncle who were spies.

There was no denying it. No hiding from the 'inevitable conclusion'. And so she managed, naturally, to convince the entire school of her suspicions. The 'news' spread so fast that even some of the teachers knew of it before the end of lunch:

Alex Rider was a spy.

**PG BREAK**

Whilst Mr. Bray had been contemplative, his classmates filled with certainty, Alex had been having some trouble. As always. He quickly moved up to get his meal and then went to sit down with Leopard and Buffalo.

"Hi guys," he said as he slid into a seat opposite them. Then he noticed the two men exchange wary glances. "What's going on?" Alex asked, suddenly alert, watching them as they continued to stay in stiff silence. Then Buffalo sighed:

"Well, look, kid… We don't think we want to 'hang out' with you anymore…" Leopard opened his mouth, ready to say something, but Alex jumped in first.

"What? Why? I-I thought you guys… I mean, I told you who I was and everything," stumbled the spy clumsily, looking away.

"Look, Buffalo-" Leopard started, but the other man cut in. _At least Leopard's still standing up for me. And the Sarge…_

"No, Leopard, K-Unit don't trust him-"

"But he's just a kid!"

"I know, I don't want to do this, but he's not trustworthy…"

"Buffalo! He's only, what, fourteen?"

"Still-"

"I'm fifteen," Alex interrupted, not attempting in the slightest to hide the vehemence from his voice, "I can't believe you two. Buffalo, I told you that who I am- I trusted you with that and I expected you trust me back. Yet you try to exclude me because my unit got some weird ideas. I thought you understood me, to some degree, at least enough to know that I would never be a threat, or that I would purposefully harm you. I thought trust in another soldier _meant _something in the SAS."

"I'm sorry, Cub, I mean-"

"Save it. And Leopard. Were you ever really a friend at all? Or did you just feel sorry for me because of my age? I don't need pity- Not from you, anyway. I can't believe you could let me think you liked hanging out with me, when all you were trying to do was boost your ego. _'Oh, look, poor little Cub! I think I'll be a nice guy and sit with him in the mess to make him feel better, even though I really don't care about him. I feel so good for helping someone out!'_"

"It wasn't like that at all, Cub!"

"I don't care what it was like. I'm going to sit with K-Unit. At least I know where I stand with them. Oh, and, by the way, we've resolved our problems, and they feel pretty bad for the way they treated me, considering I'm _a good guy_. Ciao."

And with that rather unique farewell, Alex stormed off to his unit's table, sitting down and eating as fast as he could, while not looking at anyone else. Particularly Fox. But Alex had a much more unsettling question on his mind rather than any about Fox's betrayal.

_I've killed people. I've felt the urge to kill intentionally. I saved the world… But not of my own free will. If I hadn't been blackmailed, masses of people could be dead, there could be political chaos, and the economy could be totally destroyed. And all the problems would be because I only cared about myself: Whether I lived or died. I killed Julius Grief in cold blood… I-I didn't have to do that, not really…_

_Am I, Alex Rider, really a 'good guy'?_

**PG BREAK**

A teenage spy who happened to be residing in an SAS camp was _very _pissed off, to say the least. His class was totally hopeless! The push-up session, in particular, was a complete failure. And, as if that wasn't enough, they'd discovered that he was a spy. Well… Not really. None of them had actually asked him yet- They'd just whispered amongst themselves in a manner that they obviously thought was conspiring and secretive. In reality, it just looked babyish and idiotic.

And guess what poor little Alex had to do now? After having to straighten out some of the most popular kids in school? After having to endure watching some of the most miserable attempts at completing the obstacle course, push-ups, sprints… In his life? Guess what?

He had to give his teachers _at least_ an extra hour of training. Every single day.

Oh, Alex Rider truly was a regrettably unlucky and ill-fated soul.

Apprehension coursed through his body as he trudged ever closer to the obstacle course where his teachers were waiting somewhat impatiently. For God's sake, he was a spy! He was good at preventing the world from being blown up, not _teaching_ his _teachers_! Oh Gods, they'd all resent him by the time the hour was over, never mind all the other sessions! And was he meant to _criticize _them when they didn't perform well? Shit summed the situation up nicely…

"Umm… Hi?" Alex greeted his teachers uncertainly, striding up to them. They all gave muttered 'hellos', none too enthusiastically either. Right. That was a _real_ confidence boost! However, Mrs. Bedfordshire seemed to notice this, and, since she possessed something called tact, or maybe empathy, she re-greeted Alex, a hell of a lot more excitedly:

"Hello Alex! What are we going to be participating in?" Alex gave a small smile, and went on to tell his teachers what lay in wait for them.

"Right, so we're doing a rather complicated activity, which trains you in a range of skills. You will all be kitted up with a map, compass and paintball gun. Using the navigation equipment, you will have to work out the way from Point A to Point B on a trek which should take you roughly one and a half hours… If you get the chance to complete it." A few confused looks were exchanged here, and Alex held up his hand to bring the attention back to what he was saying, "Twenty minutes into the trek, I will follow you, using only my tracking skills to determine your location. If I find you, and then shoot you with a paintball, you have failed. If you manage to get to the end you have passed. If you manage to shoot me, you have passed. Any questions?"

There were a few quiet comments shared among the teachers, leaving Alex squirming as he felt increasingly out of place. At last, Mr. Gilbert, or 'Gecko', piped up nervously:

"We… Uh, don't really know how to use any of the equipment…" He trailed off awkwardly, all the other teachers also looking like they were in quite a difficult situation; they were, after all, asking their student for help, however indirectly it may be. Alex repressed the overwhelming urge to sigh yet again for the hundredth time that day.

"But Gecko, you teach Geography. Surely you know how to use the navigation equipment?" Oh no. Had he said that a bit too cuttingly? Had he really offended Mr. Gilbert? No…

"Yes, of course I do," Gecko replied, rather defensively, if not pompously, "But the other teachers don't."

"Well, I guess I'll have to give you a bit of a crash course… I'll just have to use a completely different section of the map, so that the exercise is actually an _exercise_." Upon saying this, Alex handed an envelope containing the map to his Geography teacher. "Position this map on the ground in such a way that I cannot see Point B; I'm meant to be completely unaware of the destination so that I can put my tracking skills into proper practice."

Mr. Gilbert nodded and took the map as Alex turned away, impatiently listening to the paper rustling behind him and his teacher's various mutters.

"We're done." _About time, too!_

"Good," rapped out Alex briskly, taking a look at the map, and then pointing to a patch of open terrain, "Pretend that this is Point B. You have a number of ways to get there. Walking straight up to it on this hill is certainly _not _an option. The game'd be over before it'd even begun. You could sneak around this treeline, but there's a lot of marshy ground in that section; see, there's a symbols key down there," he elaborated, gesturing, "So that leaves you with this treeline: Lots of cover, no marshy ground. That is, however, rather obvious, and so you and your team would have to make a well structured decision, possibly alternating between the different terrains."

"Now, how to navigate, and the compass. As you can see, there is a symbol indicating North, East, et cetera. So you get out the compass and keep turning the map around until the North-South arrow on the compass lines up with the one on the map. Then you should know which direction to head in. Each of the squares in the grid across the map equals a square Kilometre. That should be enough." Alex glanced at his watch, then claimed, "There's no time to really teach you how to shoot, so just use the guns to the best of your ability and remember to use the crosshairs."

"Right. Good. Now I shall go to my starting point, quite a distance away so that I can't eavesdrop on you, and I shall wait twenty minutes before tracking you. Your time starts now. Good luck," and with that, the teen waltzed almost lazily into the distance.

**PG BREAK**

Twenty minutes later, Alex Rider ran into the clearing where he had left his teachers, paintball gun fitting disturbingly nicely into his hand. No time was wasted, tracks immediately searched for and options weighed up. A dense forest stretched ahead of him, some smooth grass, some marshy and muddy, and some pretty much impossible to penetrate.

He saw a few footprints leading into the marsh, but they seemed a bit too deep, too obvious to be natural. He smiled at the smart yet futile attempt to mislead him, and wandered into the grassy area of forest, jogging stealthily, eyes scanning all the shadows.

Then he suddenly came to a stream. Alex rapidly hid behind a tree, as his teachers could easily be lying in wait for him along the deep, muddy banks. He then crawled cautiously up to the banks, gun positioned, visually scouring the area for any sign of his teachers. None. A nimble dash down to the stream, paired with a strong frontcrawl didn't trigger any attack, as was the same for Alex's scramble up the bank and drop behind a well-placed tree.

What our favourite spy saw next almost, _almost _pulled a 'shit' out from between his lips.

It was caves. Lots and lots of caves and cliffs. How the hell was he meant to track them now? By doing forensic tests on the stones? It was just then that he noticed a cliff with many handholds notched into the sheer wall of stone, not to mention the telltale damp handprints all over it. Shaking his head, Alex scaled the face with an almost machine-like ease, hoisting himself up.

"We should... Easier..."

"...Should do..."

"...Vote!"

The voices of Alex's teachers drifted out less than calmly towards him, tickling a grin out of Alex as he crept towards the source of the noise, all the while taking cover behind trees and rocks. They were pretty much shouting out their location, in terms of high-standard stealth and evasion.

Alex crept round the back of a rock, taking a glimpse at them. All with their backs to him. Seriously? No sentry or lookout or anything? And so he snuck up behind them, then backing up about 20 metres before quickly and efficiently picking them all out of the game in a flurry of silver paintballs.

"Game over," Alex said quietly as he strode up to them, suddenly regretting his actions. After all, he had probably damaged their pride; being beaten by a student? To his surprise, all he got was one rather shocked question, voiced by Mrs. Bedfordshire, or Shark.

"How did you find us so easily?"

"The thing with the footprints in the marsh was good, but they looked a bit too obvious. Then there was the thing with the cliff, which was completely soaked in water, and, finally, me hearing your voices, coming along, and 'shooting' you."

Alex suddenly glanced at his watch. "I think it's safe to say that I found you in approximately twelve minutes. I guess you just need to work on your map reading and stealth, as well as focusing more on your teamwork skills. Since we've still got some time to go before the Sarge lets us back into the barracks, I think we should do a short trek."

**PG BREAK**

It would be nice to say that everything went well on the trek, but, unfortunately, it didn't.

As the group were nearing the end of the trek, Alex's senses went on overdrive. They were in a totally harmless-looking clearing, some red and gold leaves sprinkled on the ground around them, partially frosty. It was totally normal but something was up.

"Stop," commanded Alex suddenly. And stop they all did. What was wrong?

"What's going on, Cub?" Inquired Mr. Wiseman, 'Owl'.

"Something's not right." Alex surveyed the area, looking for anything suspicious. Nothing. Then he looked down at the ground. It wasn't right. The leaves were too... Arranged. Taking extreme care, he pushed the muzzle of his paintball rifle into an area where there was a larger pile of leaves.

SNAP!

Alex couldn't help but gasp and jump backwards in shock as something smashed around his gun. When he recovered from the initial jolt, he looked to see what had caused that reaction.

It was a leghold trap. Those spiky hunting things that snap down on the poor animal's leg. And he had almost walked into it. He could have been lying on the floor, screaming, with his leg broken and bloodied beyond repair... No. That was an utterly gruesome thought.

Turning back to the group he saw, as you would imagine, that they were all pale-faced and violently aghast.

"A-A-Alex..." Mrs. Bedfordshire whispered softly, distressed. "I-If you had kept walking-"

"I know," responded said boy, proud of how strong his voice sounded, "But I don't particularly want to think about it." 'Shark' accepted this with a somewhat dazed nod.

"I think we should go back now." Suggested Robin, also known as Mr. Shermann, after a tense beat of silence. But, alas, their plans for departure were cut short by a rather stocky and muscular man in his thirties running into sight with a:

"Yes! I finally caught something!" Alex's face hardened on sight of this fool.

"Sir, may I ask you to leave the premises immediately, disarming and removing any other traps you may have concealed in these areas?"

The admittedly rather handsome man stopped short, jumping, then taking in the scene before him and glancing at Alex. Anyone could see he was just a kid with a group of adults who quite clearly weren't SAS soldiers, despite their combats.

"As if I would listen to a smartarse snot-nose like you," growled Unidentified Man, as Alex had taken to calling him, rather harshly.

"Hunting and leaving traps on SAS ground is strictly prohibited." Alex wasn't about to back down so easily; he stood his ground, keeping a firm, clear tone. Unidentified Man snorted.

"Because you know an awful lot about the SAS, rookie!"

"If you don't follow my orders, I shall have to report this incident to the police and the Sergeant in charge of us." It was a lie, seeing as even if the guy was compliant, he would do that anyway. That was when it all turned ugly.

"You won't do that if you know what's good for you, you little shit!" Roared the man, suddenly lunging at Alex, who, naturally, managed to fight him off with a quick palm strike to the jaw. Further aggravated by the pain, Unidentified Man suddenly whipped out a hunting knife, stabbing it at Alex so that it slashed through his shirt and grazed the bullet wound beneath. Alex gasped in intense pain, clutching his chest, before almost immediately retaliating with a sharp kick to the breastbone and a strike to the temple.

Luckily, if not slightly pathetically, this knocked Unidentified Man clean out.

The teacher's reactions were all rather different:

Mrs. Bedfordshire went running up to Alex immediately, who was clutching his chest in pain. It felt like it was on fire! And jolting twinges were shooting through his left arm. He used one hand to stem the weak blood flow seeping into blotchy circles on his uniform, all the while breathing quite irregularly as a result of the agony.

Mr. Bray stared for a moment at the man his student had knocked out, suspicions of Alex being a spy returning, before immediately shaking such ridiculous thoughts out of his head, going over to see how Alex was doing.

froze, white-faced. He hadn't seen anything like this happen in his short career. A student getting hurt with a weapon? The whole thing was way out of his depth.

Mr. Wiseman started to panic, gabbling nonsense about his First Aid certificate and Air Ambulances.

Mr. Donovan went to check that Unidentified Man really was knocked out, then searched the guy's pockets for a First Aid kit, despite the fact that the First Aid kit would have to be a special contortionism version to fit in pockets that small.

Mr. Grey went up to Alex, looking scared out of his skin at the sight of the blood.

And Mr. Shermann. Finally there was _someone _who wasn't just going to freak out and actually organise everything! He did the obvious thing: **sent out an SOS flare! **Genius! And then he asked to look at Alex's wound.

"No." Alex flat-out refused, as most who knew about his _hobby _would expect.

But then all the teachers just had to gang up on him. Well, that was how he felt. In reality, they were just extremely concerned for his wellbeing. They let him get away with it for a while, but after five minutes, when Alex had started shivering, blood was seeping around his hand, and there was no sign that the SAS had seen the flarewhatsoever, Mr. Shermann put his foot down.

" Alex, you're going to take that shirt off now and let us help you, or we're going to have to force it off you, which I'm sure neither of us want. It's your decision. Easy way or hard way?"

By that point, Alex was in too bad a state to say no. Tentatively, steeling himself against any explosive reactions, he slowly straightened up, despite the jolts of pain that ran through hi chest and left shoulder, and peeled his shirt up, revealing the burn marks all down his back, the scar down his side from the bullring in France, along with many little scars from the shards of glass that had rained upon him in Greenfields. But no appendicitis scar. He lifted his shirt up further.

A bullet wound.

**Well, Julius Grief, obvs.**

**Hope that was good enough! Sorry for the delay, I've got exams and I'm totally freaking out. Also an extreme lack of willpower; I just like reading other people's stuff so much more than writing my own! Now I'd better do my 2 essays and exam revision and write my orals.**


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